When it comes to any change generally and to weight loss in particular, our subconscious can be very creative in avoiding such a change. Our subconscious wants to keep the status quo. Change is not welcome…habit is.
How many times have you decided not to eat your favorite sweet food for a month, and three days later you suddenly found yourself buying exactly that and then eating it?
How often did it feel like your steering wheel was automatically taking a detour to the next fast food restaurant?
How many times did you decide to exercise three to four times a week and then something came into your way? You thought, “Well, what does it matter. It’s just once.” But then something else came up, the weather wasn’t to your liking, your child looked like he might get a cold…and then there was the point where you realized that you haven’t been to the gym for two weeks and now you have lost all your motivation?
Don’t we all know such situations?
First of all, these are all signs that you are doing something wrong and got off track.
Secondly, these are all signs that you are dominated by your poor habits.
And there is a third reason I’ll get back to in a minute. But first I have to take a short detour with this topic.
In 37 years of being a weight loss coach and by working with over 10,000 persons I have seen it a thousand times that especially women tend to self-sabotage their weight loss process. They start with great motivation and begin to lose weight. Then they tell you that they need a break, don’t have enough money, don’t have any time, or worse, they simply disappear without saying a word.
One of my current members recently had some great success simply by following the daily action steps in my free Facebook group. Then Christmas came, New Year came, now we are two weeks into the new year and she almost disappeared.
Shortly before Christmas we talked on the phone and I realized that she was very close to a major breakthrough in her weight loss progress. It seemed like she was just inches away from the next breakthrough. And then we didn’t hear from her for weeks.
So what happened?
The subconscious mind takes over and is trying everything in its power to set you right back to where you were before.
This is happening a million times every day and it’s happening even more now during the month of January.
People are so used to follow their likings that they don’t realize how they are sabotaging their own goals. They feel something inside they can’t name or allocate and instantly follow these emotions. It’s like being on the way to something good, then another thing comes your way that looks even more interesting you follow that like a dog follows a new smell. They don’t realize that someone else – a minor authority that should not be allowed to dominate their lives – is slightly and slowly taking the wheel into it’s hands and they are losing control. They have given up the wheel and are now on autopilot that can bring them literally anywhere but to their desired goal.
This is the power of habit. And habits are a great way to move you away from what you really want. They are the easiest thing to use for self-sabotage.
But how do you know whether you are sabotaging your own goals?
Here are 30 signs of self-sabotage:
- Not feeling alike.
- Feeling that you don’t have the time and that something else is more important.
- Something else caught your attention.
- Stopping the goal achievement process alltogether.
- Using excuses (no money, no time, to hard, can’t, this is not for me, etc.).
- Being unreachable.
- Starting something new.
- Being afraid of becoming emotional.
- Avoiding to deal with your own circumstances.
- Overplanning.
- Lack of commitment.
- Using labels for your current situation, the program you’re currently in or for the coach or trainer.
- Labelling yourself (I’m this or that and hence this isn’t for me).
- Wondering if things might be going to well and easy and you might be disappointed at some point.
- Self-doubt.
- Unknown fear of the new situation you wanted in the first place.
- Feeling not to deserve this.
- Self-doubt (Can I do this? What if I’ll fail again?)
- I look fine the way I am. I don’t really need to lose weight.
- Becoming bored with the process.
- Feeling inadequate.
- Initiating conflicts.
- Being out of focus.
- Compare yourself with others.
- Questioning your purpose.
- Critisizing.
- Procrastination (I’ll do it later, I don’t have time right now or I need a break first).
- Resistance.
- Perfectionism.
- Quitting.
Self-sabotage is a behavior or thought pattern that is holding you back and preventing you from achieving what you want and from doing what you have decided to do. There is nothing that has killed more dreams and goal achievement processes than self-sabotage.
And here is the big problem.
Most people begin to sabotage themselves shortly before a major breakthrough!
That means that they are on the right path but are afraid of their new self. When they stop the process and give in to their self destructive behavior, they stop a process that had the potential to be a success. Then, a few years down the road they realize that they once wanted to lose weight and still haven’t achieved their goal.
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That’s the moment when they have to go back to step number one and start all over again.
May this not be you!
May you have enough wisdom and self-reflection to understand when you are sabotaging your own weight loss goal.
May you have enough stamina to follow through with your weight loss process to the very end….no matter what, no matter how, and no matter how long it will take. Following through with the current process is still shorter than having to start all over again…of course, provided that you are on the right path. (Please also see article “http://www.angelabuhri.com/if-youre-struggling-with-losing-weight-youre-doing-something-wrong/”)
Following through with the current process is still shorter than quitting and then having to start all over again.
May you love yourself enough to allow yourself to overcome all obstacles and stumbling blocks and follow through with your weight loss process to the very end and be wise enough to ask for help when needed.
The first step of overcoming self-sabotaging behavior is by being AWARE of, by being honest in self-reflection. Vision yourself being slim. Ask for help.
Then check back on your bigger WHY – the reason WHY you wanted to lose weight in the first place. At this point it may also help to go deeper with your WHY, away from your own person to a bigger purpose.
Understand what’s going on subconsciously and forgive yourself. Maybe you are obese for a long time and your extra fat has been serving as kind of a protective shield around you; now you have no idea how you’re going to feel as a slim person and how to protect that new you.
Be prepared. Everybody gets to a difficult point no matter the goal. No goal achievement process goes only smooth and linear. Understand that when there will be the time when you want to run away, hide, take a break or quit, that you might be just inches away from a major breakthrough. Especially during this month this will happen to millions of women. Some of them are really on the wrong route and need to make some shifts and others are already on the right path and don’t realize it.
Everybody needs help with their WHY and with overcoming their self-sabotaging pattern; you are not different from the rest of us. Be real to yourself and admit that you need help. In my Facebook group 4 Pillars of Lasting Weight Loss For Women you can get that kind of assistance from other members and from myself. Or you can hire me for a one-on-one coaching session which is always the fastest way to any goal. During these sessions we work very concentrated and focused on the TRANSFORMATION of habits and self-sabotage behavior.
Just be smarter than your subconscious mind and use it to your advantage.
Happy slimming!
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Is your health and weight loss goal worth five to fifteen minutes of your time every day?
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