Emotional eating is an issue many overweight women are struggling with. The problem is that they don’t understand the real cause behind emotional eating and thus try to tame the beast with willpower.
This is a completely useless strategy because when you do that, you deal with two completely different levels of your being. Willpower comes from your mind (will) and the emotional eating – as the word implies – has to do with emotions. Emotions can’t be dealt successfully with willpower. And Dr. Carol Solomon, one of the weight loss experts I have interviewed – a specialist in emotional eating – explained why willpower is not a good strategy to overcome emotional eating.
Dr. Solomon, a psychologist, has struggled with the same 20 pounds over and over and over again. She said that she was definitely a compulsive eater and that she was really obsessed with food. It occupied a lot of time and space in her head and it just caused her a lot of angst, a state of mind she didn’t like at all. She kept going up and down in her dieting with a lot of yo-yoing, which caused her a lot of problems.
She said that although many overweight women may think, “Only 20 pounds…lucky her,” that to women it doesn’t really matter whether she is 20 pounds overweight or 50 pounds or 100 pounds. The vicious cycle aspect of feeling that you’re going round and round and round with the same issue over and over is always the same, and so are the struggles.
“That’s the frustrating part that it’s so discouraging for people and I think maybe people with more weight to lose feel even more discouraged. But to me it’s just frustrating, it’s discouraging and it’s demoralizing really,” Dr. Solomon said.
When I asked her what the reason for our obesity epidemic in the Western world might be despite of the fact that we have so much food to choose from, she said, “There is definitely something wrong in the system and there are a lot of factors that contribute to that. I think the whole world is feeling so much stress. People who work in corporate jobs are functioning with so much pressure and so much uncertainty. People are so overwhelmed with their lives; and overcommitted. There are so many demands and responsibilities and less support, and less social interaction; which is one of the keys to happiness. Stress is really equivalent to what smoking was in the 50’s. It’s killing us. One of our favorite responses is to overeat and I think that people just don’t make time for themselves and they just don’t pay attention. There is a lot of unconscious eating going on until something happens and then you say: Okay, I’ve got to do something about it.”
Stress is a huge factor regarding weight issues and a huge trigger. Stress leads to a variety of negative emotions which are mostly ‘undigested’, and we have to do something with them. So food is just a quick and easy answer and comes in handy, although it really creates more problems we can’t deal with.
When I asked her what she thinks about diets, Dr. Solomon answered, “Well, I think that we all know that diets don’t work, and that diets result in a net gain. I think there was a study once that showed that people on diets gain back a 107% of the weight that they lost. So, all the weight that they have lost plus 7%, and yet there is a $50 Billion diet industry out there. That’s a lot of money no matter what currency you are talking about. It just shows how desperate people feel to find an answer.”
“Diets create dependency on something that’s outside of you,” she continued. “Diet programs would have you believe that if you’d relax your guard, you’ll devour everything inside. So if you believe that, then it’s natural to start depriving yourself so that you won’t gain weight. So, it’s either one or the other all the time. You are either devouring or depriving; starving yourself or stuffing yourself.”
I have often discussed why diets are counter-productive from a physical standpoint. Now you also begin to understand why dieting for weight loss is even a bad idea psychologically. I think it’s really time to begin questioning the dieting approach for maintainable weight loss.
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But what is the answer?
If you want to lose weight, you can do it simply by eating when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re satisfied.
Can it be that easy and simple?
“…that’s frightening to many people, because that means taking responsibility and trusting yourself. So a lot of people believe that they have to have this sort of outside structure, this sort of outside control of a diet but it never really works. To do something different; you are going against all the machinery of the culture especially that $50 billion diet industry.”
And, oh boy, can they fight hard to keep you struggling and silence those weight loss experts who dare to speak out the truth. I could literally fill volumes talking about that subject and what tricks they used to get me out of business and stop talking about the truth. They just don’t want to lose you as a returning customer.
To demonstrate what a dead-end road the dieting approach can be, Dr. Solomon explains:
“A lot of people like the idea of being told what to do when they are frustrated; initially; that’s part of the appeal of the diets. ‘I’m tired of thinking about food; I don’t want to spend one more minute thinking about it; Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it; Just give me a set of rules and I will follow them.’ The problem is that the rules are impossible to follow and then people blame themselves. It also brings up resistance in people. Weight loss issues in general they really bread resistance. There is something inside of us, we don’t like being told what to do, even by ourselves. We all have these little 5 year olds inside of ourselves saying, ‘I’m not going to do it! You can’t make me!’ Like a 5 year old, stomping her feet. So dieting really perpetuates that cycle of making rules and breaking them that leads into those bigger issues of craving nourishments and gratification but not really allowing yourself to have it. So we end up feeling deprived.”
By passing the responsibility over our weight and body on to a false diet ‘expert’, we not only become dependent, we also willing pass the power over ourselves and our lives to someone else. No wonder why millions of overweight women feel so powerless. This is a crazy downward spiral nobody can win.
We’re trying to control something, and yet we feel out of control. That keeps us feeling small and powerless and it’s a real downward spiral which gets worse and worse. Women often don’t see a way out of that situation and start feeling very stuck. It’s easy to get into that situation but hard to find a way out. You eat too much and then you feel like you should deprive yourself the next day. So you eat less because that’s what all the books and doctors are saying: ‘Eat less and exercise more.’ But they never tell you how to do that in a way so that you can really stick to it. The reason is that they are not knowledgeable about the emotional part of it, so they can’t tell you how to address these emotional issues.
At the beginning I said that you can’t deal well with emotions through willpower. Emotions are emotions and will is will. Both happen on a completely different level. And it’s the same with diet. You can’t deal with emotions by eating less. That is simply stupid. When it comes to emotional eating, the real issue is emotions. So you have to deal with those instead of oging on the next diet.
Stress causes emotion, tension, fatigue and a lot more…all reasons that are driving us to the refrigerator. A lot of times you don’t even realize what’s happening there and why you are looking for food.
Diets are so counter intuitive; when we really think about what diets are. We are so used to the dieting approach that we have totally un-learned how to listen to our body, to our common sense, to our own intuition. And that’s what surprises me so much, that we really have lost our common sense in all that. Dr. Solomon said that statistics say that we gain 107% after a diet and I think that everybody reading this would agree. Yet people do it again and again, they do something that doesn’t work that has a 107% to fail! That is simply insane.
So what choices do you have during the Holiday season to deal with food? Give in and eat as much as you can and then jump on the next diet in January? Or depriving yourself while everybody else on the table is enjoying the food?
There is a better way. Mindful eating.
Enjoy the food you eat. Eat a lot of salad first. Drink a glass of water before the meal (you already knew that one). Eat mindfully. Be grateful for the food and the company. You can eat everything on the table as long as you eat slowly and enjoy each and every bite. After such a meal you will feel happy instead of remorseful.
We have to gain back the trust in ourselves, and this starts by taking responsibility over our own emotions. And it also starts by saying ‘Stop’ to the insanity and by beginning a normal, healthy lifestyle and reducing stress.
Some day in January I’m going to start with my SheSlimEasy Habit Transformation. Since I will only work with 20 participants, the group my fill fast. The last time I offered such a program, I was booked for 2 years in advance, and that within the first two weeks of January. So, if you feel that the SheSlimEasy method might be a good way for you as my subscriber can already register now and start with the program. I promise, it will not interfere with your Holiday feasts. I would like you to first go through my free webinar so that you understand what tis program includes and what you can expect. You can access the recording of the webinar here: https://cdm.weightlossexpertsrevealthetruth.com/webinar-truth-weightloss-registration.
Enjoy your Holidays….and happy slimming!
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Can you believe it? There are only five more weeks left to the end of this year. This is the time when people begin to think about their goals they wanted to achieve this year but didn’t. Millions of women are beginning to realize that, once again, they did not achieve their weight loss goal. And once again they blame themselves.
The thing is that neither Dr. Oz nor Oprah or any other person who publically talks about a new weight loss program is wrong per se. Some tactics actually do work for some people for some time. That’s why they come across as so credible – because they truly believe what they are saying. But they are not the ones who work with clients for years and decades to see the long-term results. 
Just think about, seen in that light, how much sense does any tactical advice “Do A to get B” make? It’s like the follower who tried to convince me that for everybody the first step had to be a liver cleanse. But what if your root cause is a psychological one? What if one of your causes is a hormonal problem? What if it’s a lack of sleep? Yes, cleansing the liver is always a good idea early in the process, but it’s not the only tactic and it’s certainly not for every woman to use it as a first step. This is just an example. You can take every recommendation regarding weight loss you have ever heard and use that same logic.
So what can you do right now?
As soon as you come to the point where you are ready to leave the diet path and make new and better experiences, I’m here for you and I can’t wait to work with you. I promise this is going to be an exciting journey and you will love it.
“I followed the low fat, low cholesterol hypothesis and I got rid of all the bad cholesterol in my diet. You wouldn’t know it that my body got heavier and my blood pressure went higher, my blood sugar higher HDL/good cholesterol went lower. Basically I made all my conditions worse by following the accepted dietary guidelines, which are still the accepted dietary guidelines. It’s interesting too because when I failed the low fat, low cholesterol diet I put myself on medication and I wasn’t understanding at that time the correct way to eat. So I put myself on the blood pressure medication, I put myself on the cholesterol lowering medication and I actually put myself on the medications until I started to understand the correct way to eat. That understanding was a big ‘eEureka!’ moment in my life when I understood that low fat, low cholesterol eating styles are actually harmful and deadly. I switched away what I was eating, I started eating more fat cholesterol, and wouldn’t you know it, I blew up 70+ pounds, came off my mediactions and the rest is history. Armed with that knowledge, I started bringing that into my practice; telling my patients the correct way to eat. Now, 16 years from that I literally have thousands upon thousands of patients eating the correct way with wonderful, miraculous and marvelous results.”
“Wherever that sugar molecule comes from, the cells are going to create deadly cholesterol and fat making us heavier and create a host of a lot other deadly problems. So I like to tell my patients, and I like them to repeat this little mantra, I say repeat after me ’Carbohydrates are broken down into sugars and sugars create cholesterol and fat.’ And I also say that ‘carbohydrates are carbohydrates are carbohydrates’ meaning, it doesn’t matter if it comes from whole grains or multi grains or seven grains or whole wheat pasta or brown rice. The end result is overabundant sugar molecules and you are going to make cholesterol and fat from that.”
How do you feel about yourself?
People with a low self-worth break down when they lose the job, go broke, lose friends, lose a spouse, lose their status, grow old or experience any kind of loss. They feel less worthy because they measure their self-worth on external things, situations and on others.
If you have experienced lack of love, conditional love, setbacks, and restrictions earlier in your life, then it’s certainly easier for you to stay in that state of low self-worth. But that’s not the solution. You don’t need others to tell you what a great person you are. You don’t need others to love you so that you can love yourself. Simply start by treating yourself well. Take care of your health. Eat healthy. Exercise. Do something good for yourself. Pamper yourself from time to time. Pat your shoulders each time you have accomplished something or made another person happy. Be generous with your smiles when meeting others. Be of service. Make this world a better place no matter how humble the beginnings.
Recently I stumbled on the following story which I find very inspirational. When I read it, I instantly had to think of you. So I decided to share that story with you today. 
For years I am trying to convince my readers and clients to practice appreciation toward their body, because appreciation can really heal many wounds, especially the wounds of the soul. I do get how hard it is to appreciate a body which is overweight or even obese, a body you don’t like. But sometimes it just takes a small step beyond the ordinary, a step into the unknown, an uncomfortable step, even a step that might seem weird at the beginning to make new and desired experiences and see better results. 
Write a list of everything you can be thankful for to your body and everything you like about it. Then keep writing that list for seven days minimum. Every morning after waking up and every evening before going to sleep you thank your body for everything it is doing for you. Try to be serious. Remember, you have plenty of reasons to be genuinely thankful for to your body. 
On the very first coaching call she brought up all her problems at once and it was a real challenge to dig through the clutter and to choose the most pressing issue to begin with. She had pretty much all the problems you can have: deep depression; financially broke; unemployed; she had no idea what kind of job she wanted – all she knew was that she no longer wanted to work as a nurse; she had no more energy left and has gained a lot of weight (close to being obese); a daily almost crippling head ache; in a relationship she was deeply unhappy with; having been abused by her father; an extremely dominant mother who thought that Giselle was not capable of accomplishing anything and thus made all the decisions for her and even took over the job of raising her child.
After some job interviews she realized that she no longer wanted a job and put an add in the newspaper offering her service as a caretaker for elderly people. Within only a few days she got two great engagements and now she is her own boss, deciding how much her work is worth and making the price. Now she earns more money than she has ever earned before as a nurse and has not to work any night shifts anymore. 
She began to be more careful about when and how much she would allow her bossy sister and girlfriends into her life and what she would tolerate from them. She learned to say ‘No’. For the first time in her life she could set boundaries and clearly say what is tolerable and what is not. 
Two weeks ago she met a lovely man who is 10 years younger than Giselle – the kind of man she always wanted and was certain he would not exist. They both fell in love with each other and both feel that the other one is just the “one”, the partner they have always been looking for and dreamed of but never found before. Very quickly they realized that everything fits. Beside the fastly growing love, they have many common interests, he treats her with the respect she deserves, and they have the best sex life ever. They both feel that they have arrived. 
In Giselle’s case, I did nothing else but helping her to transform her personal root causes which had led to weight gain. We never did anything regarding her weight at all. She always loved cooking and she is still enjoying it and has no food restrictions except those foods she is allergic to. What we did do for the sake of her health is eliminating a few bad habits. 
Root causes can be found on the physical level (e.g. food intolerances, diabetes, toxic overload, etc.), the emotional level (how you emotionally respond to circumstances and the world around you), the mental level (your mindset, your way of thinking, what you say, your belief system), the psychological level (your memories, your subconscious mind, past experiences, unhealthy boundaries, etc.), and even on the spiritual level (karma, stuck energy, etc.). They can be experienced in relationships with the opposite sex and the family, in your professional life, in your health or the lack of it, and whether or not your life is interesting, fulfilling and well balanced or not. 
According to scientists, the worst of all bad habits – besides smoking – is a sedentary lifestyle. Frankly, I have no doubt that sitting all day is very unhealthy. You don’t have to be a physician to understand what sitting all day can do to our body. But what are the alternatives when you have an office job? There are a few ways you can do about that:
Although eating a good amount of protein is important for weight loss, many people eat far too much meat. The biggest problem is the growth hormone IGF-1 farmers use to raise their animals for bigger profits. That substance can promote the growth of cancer cells.
Unfortunately it gets worse regarding cooking. The by far worst and most health hazard habit is using microwave ovens. And it doesn’t matter whether you just defrost some frozen food or heat the food in the oven. First of all, although the manufacturers will tell you, that their ovens don’t leak, they do. Secondly, as soon as you switch on the oven, the electromagnetic radiation goes up dramatically – in other words, they radiate a lot. Thirdly, microwaves alter the DNA in your food and thus your body does not recognize food as such but as toxins. Within only three minutes of eating something microwaved, your blood tests positive for cancer. I know scientists who call microwave ovens “The kiss of death”.
Using bad oils to cook is another health threat. For several years now health experts are warning from using the wrong oils. Most of the time these are cheap ones. When heated, they release compounds that are found in cigarette smoke, such as aldehydes and polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons.
Many Americans are insanely sleep deprived. Sleep deprivation leads to symptoms like high blood pressure, heart attacks, strokes, and obesity. Studies show that poor sleep or sleep deprivation can speed up the growth of tumors.
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Later we form habits by making daily poor decisions, mostly in an attempt to stay in our comfort zone and out of laziness. Most of the time these are the poor habits…those habits, which contribute to poor health and weight gain.
Therefore, the bad habit of being overweight is not only in the eating, drinking and exercising, but also in the thinking, behaving, and feeling. For example, one of my former participants used to enter the gate to her yard side-wise even long after she had lost all her excess weight with WW. That, of course, created a new reality of gaining weight back in order to fit into that old habit of entering the gate side-wise. Only once she realized how she had been creating that reality of being obese through her behavior and by changing that she began to get lasting results. 
Then they go on the next fad diet, take expensive weight loss products or get a gastric surgery done which create tremendous health problems and make matters worse in any regard. And at the end they gain that quickly lost weight back because it was not a sustainable method. Yes, they did have quick success…but at what cost? 
