Weight Loss Psychology – How Your House Can Make You Fat

Weight Loss Psychology – How Your House Can Make You Fat

By now you have learned about several contributing factors and root causes of weight gain and the inability to lose extra fat.

But have you ever heard that your clutter could add to your weight, too?

When I heard that for the first time from my friend and interview partner Linda J.Binns I was not surprised at all. Because stuck energy is stuck energy is stuck energy….

It just began to make so much sense to me.

Did you ever hear the expression “As within so without?” Actually, it’s not an expression but nothing less but one of the seven Universal Laws, just like the Law of Attention is one of them and true for everything and everyone. Whether you like it or not, these Universal Laws just work with or without you believing in them and with or without your active contribution. Your outer body is just a reflection of what’s going on inside of you, and likewise your home is as well a reflection of your inner world. 

When I asked Linda if it could really be that easy to get rid of clutter and lose weight she answered: “Well, it can certainly my be a contributing or helping factor. Now you know what I want to avoid is people thinking that they can go out and get rid of everything and automatically lose weight. What I hope to show through this interview is the connection between the stuff that we accumulate and any weight that we accumulate and help you understand that and to understand what’s going on, what’s the connection there and how from that perspective when you let go of the clutter, it can actually have a positive impact on your weight as well.”

To that I want to add that it’s all about energy and your inner energy. If you just want to proof us wrong and declutter your house without going through the inner process of letting go, not much will happen. You will feel relieved and lighter, but that doesn’t necessarily means that your fat is now going to burn off like crazy. However, it can. It all depends on what is going on within you. You not only have to ready to let go of clutter but also be ready and willing to let go of everything that lead to weight gain and that is keeping you overweight.

The thing is that the more clutter one has, the more it attracts and that by sorting out one’s stuff literally sorts out one’s life.

“When we attract something, when we are attracting the clutter into our lives, clutter is a symptom of something that is going with us. When you think of energy flow, what clutter does is it stops energy flowing and it creates stuck energy around us. So, when we accumulate clutter, it’s a symptom that something is not in alignment within us and so we accumulate stuff as a symptom of something being out of balance inside of us and that can be. You may not be experiencing it yet as health issues but then you may as well. And then the more stuff you have, the more it adds to itself. And when you sort out that stuff, as you sort out that stuff it starts to help you come more into balance energetically and physically. So you know it starts out as a symptom as you start to address it and you sort out the stuff, it could help you to find the solution for whatever is going on with you on a physical level.”

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Dealing with the clutter & letting some things go, can really bring major changes in one’s life. When I asked Linda what of change we might experience by decluttering, she answered, “You can really  expect any kind of change.  I mean it really depends on the person and what’s going on in their life. But as I said, collecting clutter, accumulating stuff is a symptom of something that is not right in your life or something that is not right with you. So, as you start to eliminate the clutter and you start to deal with that, anything can change. And I had people experience all kinds of different changes from suddenly finding the  answer to a problem they have been experiencing for many years, or the right person suddenly showing up to help them, or business owners when  they let go off stuff attracting new clients seemingly out of the blue. You know what it does is … as you let go off the stuff, it opens up the space for things to change, for the things that you do really need to come into your life. And so really anything can happen depending on what’s going on with the person at the time.”

“As you let go off the stuff, it opens up the space for things to change, for the things that you do really need to come into your life.”

Of course, this is very individual.  What happens to one person as a result of her letting go process may not happen to anybody else. You can’t tell in advance what is going to change for you. That’s the beauty of inner processes in general: they are entirely individual and so are the results. And although I’m repeating myself – I have to so that you really understand that from the depth of your heart – this can nor will it ever happen with a diet or exercise program. Healthy eating and exercise always have to be part of a sensible weight loss strategy, but they don’t solve the root causes. And that’s really the most important part about my work – I never know in advance how things are going to work out for any particular client. Still after 38 years of doing this work I often get surprised about the results.

To that Linda adds, “It is really very individual. And yes, it’s different for everybody … all I can tell you is that, if you address this, if you deal with the clutter, things can and will change for you for the better.” And the best about this is, that things will change in the best possible way for you, what is the best for you.

Linda is a Feng Shui expert and was often called to look at people’s houses. So I asked her how common clutter is among overweight people and if she can see a common pattern.

“Yes! It’s very common. Even if it’s not the whole house, there is usually some area, at least one area. Very often it will be the closet. I remember walking with one couple – they didn’t have weight issues but they had health issues –  their house was immaculate, but what they had was a basement and an attic absolutely full to the brim of stuff.  Boxes and boxes of stuff, there was no energy movement at all. So, they were living in a kind of sandwich between this stuck energy. So, it may not be everywhere in your house, but it will be somewhere, and if you have any issue with weight, I can almost guarantee you have issues with clutter somewhere in your home.”

Holly wow! When I heard that I was never more motivated to go through all my stuff and get rid of some clutter.

The interesting thing is that enhancements through Feng Shui can never be fully effective as long as there is clutter and thus the flow of energy is still blocked. So many women who struggle with weight constantly feel kind of stuck in their lives, or even imprisoned. So I asked Linda if the simple act of decluttering could positively affect the energy flow in our bodies; especially weight related energy that may be trapped.

“Yes! Just simply decluttering absolutely affects the energy flow in your body . And you know weight is stuck energy. It means that … it’s not simply a question of diet and exercise for everybody. I know of many women who are overweight because of not eating enough, for example. But the weight issue goes so much deeper than just diet and exercise; and what you have to understand is that your environment is simply a reflection of what is going on with you. It’s a reflection of everything that’s going on in your life and again, the clutter is simply a symptom, it’s a sign of what is going on within you. So, when you deal with that clutter and you start to release and open up the energy, it has a very positive effect on your own personal energy because you are directly connected to your home. It’s a reflection of you. So, as you start to clear out that clutter, it starts to clear out your own energy.”

I am sure that ninety percent of my readers now thank Linda for that statement that being overweight is very often not a matter of eating, and it’s true.

So do you feel that you want to declutter a particular closet or a drawer?

Go do it! You will feel lighter after. Besides, your motivation may not get any higher to declutter than it is right now. So use that positive energy.

If you want to get full access to the interview I did with Feng Shui Expert Linda Binns, please join my free webinar at https://cdm.weightlossexpertsrevealthetruth.com/webinar-truth-weightloss-registration.

Happy slimming!

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Is your health and weight loss goal worth five to fifteen minutes of your time every day?

If you want to learn a process that leads you to constant weight loss success by baby stepping, check out my Facebook group. 

You can get a feeling for the 4 Pillars of Weight Loss process for free. Simply join my closed Facebook group where you can go through the process by taking tiny daily baby steps completely stress free and still make tremendous progress. 

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Weight Loss Psychology – Negative Self-Talk & Healing Through Love

I can’t count how many examples of negative self-talk I have heard from women in my 38 years of being a weight loss coach. Many of the things women tell themselves made me even cry. And these were all wonderful, lovely and loveable women. Yet they all found the worst names for themselves….worse names than they would ever call a dog, let alone somebody else.

A lack of self-love in overweight women is almost omni-present. It seems that overweight women very often also have a problem to love themselves because they did not experience to be loved much during their childhood or in a marriage. They just don’t think they’re loveable, no matter how wonderful and lovely they are. And the worst thing is that they are so convinced that nobody can love them, that even when an entire class of 20 other workshop participants are doing everything to convince them how wonderful and beautiful they are, they find it hard to believe it. Their response often is, “You’re only saying this to be nice with me.”

But fact is that the more we love ourselves the more it’s natural that we take care of what we put into our mouth, what we eat, and what we do to our body. For many overweight women this is probably a far-reaching goal because they are not there yet.

For example, one of my interview guests, Oprah-featured author Laura Fenamore, used to call herself “big, fat, ugly drunk.” Despite being obese and an alcoholic, she had to learn to love herself first to heal both, her weight and her addiction.

These negative self-talks are so common among overweight women, yet they are far from being helpful. That way we can’t build a good relationship with our body and promote lasting weight loss. In order to lose extra weight for good, you need to be in a good relationship with your body to get its full collaboration. How would you like if somebody called you the worst names and then expected you to help them do something for them? Your healthy reaction would be to respond, “Since you can’t be friendly to me, why would I waste any time and energy helping you?”  

How did Laura manage to go from being insanely obese and an alcoholic to being slim, sober, and successful? “Well the first thing that I had to do was really wake up to what I was doing. Because so many people are on auto-pilot that they aren’t even aware of their negative self-talk; they are just not aware that they can’t stop eating or that they are obsessed about food. Maybe they feel dissected like ‘there is something wrong with me.’ But often times people don’t walk around saying, Oh! I call myself an ugly person every day. They just do it. But what happens is, when they get somebody like you coming in their life, and you’re here to help people see another way, they all of a sudden start to notice, ‘oh my goodness, maybe I am not talking to myself so nicely.’ And they start to notice and from the place of noticing, then they can make a shift. I mean it’s really the first step. The first step is to really notice what’s happening, and when I notice that, ‘Oh my goodness, how I’ve talked to myself is just horrible.’ And people say this all the time. ‘I wouldn’t talk to a stranger or a dog the way that I talk to myself. I was really, really mean to myself.’ And that is not going to change until we become conscious of it.”

And then, once you become conscious of it, it’s just a process, the same way that all of the inner work is. It’s a process that is needed…not a pill. Although “…we want instant gratification, but instant gratification doesn’t come. It’s really a process to undo those thoughts and feelings and behaviors that we’ve been living with. It just takes one little step at the time…to undo that negative self-talk and to begin to start talking to ourselves with kindness, compassion and love. And even if we find that we’re hanging out with people that are just really talking nasty to us, or they are being just as abusive…a lot of things may need to shift in order for you to move forward,” Laura continued.

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Of course, “…that’s not easy for everybody to hear, but I am saying that I’ve had people walk away from jobs and marriages and all kinds of situations where they really were not there for the right reasons; because they were there because they felt like they had to be there not because they wanted to be there.  And it was actually holding them back from their truth and what they wanted and valued.”

The problem is that when you’re being treated badly by other people – family, a spouse or friends – then it’s much easier to think negatively about yourself. And after a while you begin to believe that they are right…you literally buy into that lie. And the longer you live with such a lie, the more you begin to believe it and the harder you will find it to stop those self-abusive talks, because “…one thing feeds into the other.” It gets you on a proverbial downward spiral.

The really dangerous thing about all that negative self-talk is that it gets on auto-pilot. After a while you don’t even realize what you’re thinking about yourself. And even worse, what you think and how you feel about yourself, create a new reality and makes matters worse. The longer such a pattern lasts, the harder it will be to lose extra weight for good.

If this is you, then I’m urging you to get away from such negative self-talk. Don’t allow yourself or anybody else to talk badly about you. You are a wonderful being and loveable. The first step is really to become aware of your negative self-talk. Then stop it!

Stop it!

Just stop it!

The next step then is to be grateful to your body, to what it’s doing for you every second of the day, for years and decades without ever getting a ‘Thank you’ from you. It just does its job as long as it can, even though you often reject your own body. Just know that your body is an intelligent being and it knows exactly what you are doing. Don’t you ever believe that your body can’t be hurt by what you think or say about it.

After the gratitude comes love. Start with something you like about your body. Maybe you have beautiful eyes, great hair or nicely shaped legs. There is something beautiful in every woman.  

Maintainable weight loss begins with loving yourself. I know you may think, ‘I will love myself once I’ll be slim.’ Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. You have condemned and abused your body so often and for so long, that you first have to stop that and give your body proof that it has a reason to cooperate with you and burn off that extra fat.

To that Laura says, “Well that’s another one of those components. It’s like life is happening now, it’s not a dress-rehearsal, and why would we want to start liking and loving ourselves once the weight is off? I mean, I understand intellectually why people go there. Because they think in their minds, ‘I am not going to love myself until after I get thin or after I stop eating so much.’ But the truth is that you are who you are now, not later. Now. So the love has to be and the self-acceptance has to begin now. And from that place you will stop the war.

Having more self-love means coming from a compassionate place. The negative self-talk may not go away right away. “Again it’s a process, not a pill. It takes a little bit of time, and it’s that place at self-acceptance. Like ‘I appreciate myself now.“

Laura, “It was really another one of those turning points for me. I had to get that, oh my goodness, I have to accept myself as I am in order for me to release this weight and keep it off.  And I really think that that was part of the magic, that I was in a place of self-acceptance and self-love, as I worked myself down the scale. Did I want to be 200 pounds or 220 pounds?  No. absolutely not, and when I say to people ‘you have to accept yourself as you are,’ they are  kinda  like, ‘but I don’t want to look like this, I don’t want to be this way.’  I know.  But if you walk around everyday saying, I hate my body, I hate the way I look, I want to lose weight, I hate to diet,” it’s not going to happen.

What if you’re just going to understand and feel that you can change slowly but surely? Then, while you’re changing, you begin to appreciate your body for what it does and you’re going to do the emotional and mental work that will lead you to feeling good about yourself on all levels. Would that be helpful? How fast do you think things would change for you?

Just try!

Just start somewhere!

It’s a choice. 

I understand that such a process is not easy when you have to go through it alone. For that purpose I have created a closed Facebook group where you can be among like-minded women who have all the same or similar issues like you have. You don’t have to go through this alone. Both, Laura and I had to get help. It would be too big of an ordeal to do it all alone. So let us be in your boat so that we can assist you to lose your extra weight faster. 

Happy slimming!

P.S. If you want to hear my interview with Laura in full lenght, you can go to https://cdm.weightlossexpertsrevealthetruth.com/oto1-weight-loss-experts-reveal-the-truth-membershiptjnoj5ns and try my Weight Loss Answers membership program for free. 

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Is your health and weight loss goal worth five to fifteen minutes of your time every day?

If you want to learn a process that leads you to constant weight loss success by baby stepping, check out my Facebook group. 

You can get a feeling for the 4 Pillars of Weight Loss process for free. Simply join my closed Facebook group where you can go through the process by taking tiny daily baby steps completely stress free and still make tremendous progress. 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/4pillarsoflastingweightloss

Weight Loss Psychology – How To Deal With Emotional Eating

Emotional eating is an issue many overweight women are struggling with. The problem is that they don’t understand the real cause behind emotional eating and thus try to tame the beast with willpower.

This is a completely useless strategy because when you do that, you deal with two completely different levels of your being. Willpower comes from your mind (will) and the emotional eating – as the word implies – has to do with emotions. Emotions can’t be dealt successfully with willpower. And Dr. Carol Solomon, one of the weight loss experts I have interviewed – a specialist in emotional eating – explained why willpower is not a good strategy to overcome emotional eating.

Dr. Solomon, a psychologist, has struggled with the same 20 pounds over and over and over again. She said that she was definitely a compulsive eater and that she was really obsessed with food. It occupied a lot of time and space in her head and it just caused her a lot of angst, a state of mind she didn’t like at all. She kept going up and down in her dieting with a lot of yo-yoing, which caused her a lot of problems.

She said that although many overweight women may think, “Only 20 pounds…lucky her,” that to women it doesn’t really matter whether she is 20 pounds overweight or 50 pounds or 100 pounds. The vicious cycle aspect of feeling that you’re going round and round and round with the same issue over and over is always the same, and so are the struggles.

“That’s the frustrating part that it’s so discouraging for people and I think maybe people with more weight to lose feel even more discouraged. But to me it’s just frustrating, it’s discouraging and it’s demoralizing really,” Dr. Solomon said.

When I asked her what the reason for our obesity epidemic in the Western world might be despite of the fact that we have so much food to choose from, she said, “There is definitely something wrong in the system and there are a lot of factors that contribute to that. I think the whole world is feeling so much stress. People who work in corporate jobs are functioning with so much pressure and so much uncertainty. People are so overwhelmed with their lives; and overcommitted. There are so many demands and responsibilities and less support, and less social interaction; which is one of the keys to happiness. Stress is really equivalent to what smoking was in the 50’s. It’s killing us. One of our favorite responses is to overeat and I think that people just don’t make time for themselves and they just don’t pay attention. There is a lot of unconscious eating going on until something happens and then you say: Okay, I’ve got to do something about it.”

Stress is a huge factor regarding weight issues and a huge trigger. Stress leads to a variety of negative emotions which are mostly ‘undigested’, and we have to do something with them. So food is just a quick and easy answer and comes in handy, although it really creates more problems we can’t deal with.

When I asked her what she thinks about diets, Dr. Solomon answered, “Well, I think that we all know that diets don’t work, and that diets result in a net gain. I think there was a study once that showed that people on diets gain back a 107% of the weight that they lost. So, all the weight that they have lost plus 7%, and yet there is a $50 Billion diet industry out there. That’s a lot of money no matter what currency you are talking about. It just shows how desperate people feel to find an answer.”

“Diets create dependency on something that’s outside of you,” she continued. “Diet programs would have you believe that if you’d relax your guard, you’ll devour everything inside. So if you believe that, then it’s natural to start depriving yourself so that you won’t gain weight. So, it’s either one or the other all the time. You are either devouring or depriving; starving yourself or stuffing yourself.”

I have often discussed why diets are counter-productive from a physical standpoint. Now you also begin to understand why dieting for weight loss is even a bad idea psychologically. I think it’s really time to begin questioning the dieting approach for maintainable weight loss. 

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But what is the answer?

If you want to lose weight, you can do it simply by eating when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re satisfied.

Can it be that easy and simple?

“…that’s frightening to many people, because that means taking responsibility and trusting yourself. So a lot of people believe that they have to have this sort of outside structure, this sort of outside control of a diet but it never really works. To do something different; you are going against all the machinery of the culture especially that $50 billion diet industry.”

And, oh boy, can they fight hard to keep you struggling and silence those weight loss experts who dare to speak out the truth. I could literally fill volumes talking about that subject and what tricks they used to get me out of business and stop talking about the truth. They just don’t want to lose you as a returning customer.

To demonstrate what a dead-end road the dieting approach can be, Dr. Solomon explains:

“A lot of people like the idea of being told what to do when they are frustrated; initially; that’s part of the appeal of the diets. ‘I’m tired of thinking about food; I don’t want to spend one more minute thinking about it; Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it; Just give me a set of rules and I will follow them.’ The problem is that the rules are impossible to follow and then people blame themselves. It also brings up resistance in people. Weight loss issues in general they really bread resistance. There is something inside of us, we don’t like being told what to do, even by ourselves. We all have these little 5 year olds inside of ourselves saying, ‘I’m not going to do it! You can’t make me!’ Like a 5 year old, stomping her feet. So dieting really perpetuates that cycle of making rules and breaking them that leads into those bigger issues of craving nourishments and gratification but not really allowing yourself to have it. So we end up feeling deprived.”

By passing the responsibility over our weight and body on to a false diet ‘expert’, we not only become dependent, we also willing pass the power over ourselves and our lives to someone else. No wonder why millions of overweight women feel so powerless. This is a crazy downward spiral nobody can win.

We’re trying to control something, and yet we feel out of control. That keeps us feeling small and powerless and it’s a real downward spiral which gets worse and worse. Women often don’t see a way out of that situation and start feeling very stuck. It’s easy to get into that situation but hard to find a way out. You eat too much and then you feel like you should deprive yourself the next day. So you eat less because that’s what all the books and doctors are saying: ‘Eat less and exercise more.’ But they never tell you how to do that in a way so that you can really stick to it. The reason is that they are not knowledgeable about the emotional part of it, so they can’t tell you how to address these emotional issues.

At the beginning I said that you can’t deal well with emotions through willpower. Emotions are emotions and will is will. Both happen on a completely different level. And it’s the same with diet. You can’t deal with emotions by eating less. That is simply stupid. When it comes to emotional eating, the real issue is emotions. So you have to deal with those instead of oging on the next diet.

Stress causes emotion, tension, fatigue and a lot more…all reasons that are driving us to the refrigerator. A lot of times you don’t even realize what’s happening there and why you are looking for food.

Diets are so counter intuitive; when we really think about what diets are. We are so used to the dieting approach that we have totally un-learned how to listen to our body, to our common sense, to our own intuition. And that’s what surprises me so much, that we really have lost our common sense in all that. Dr. Solomon said that statistics say that we gain 107% after a diet and I think that everybody reading this would agree. Yet people do it again and again, they do something that doesn’t work that has a 107% to fail! That is simply insane.

So what choices do you have during the Holiday season to deal with food? Give in and eat as much as you can and then jump on the next diet in January? Or depriving yourself while everybody else on the table is enjoying the food?

There is a better way. Mindful eating.

Enjoy the food you eat. Eat a lot of salad first. Drink a glass of water before the meal (you already knew that one). Eat mindfully. Be grateful for the food and the company. You can eat everything on the table as long as you eat slowly and enjoy each and every bite. After such a meal you will feel happy instead of remorseful. 

We have to gain back the trust in ourselves, and this starts by taking responsibility over our own emotions. And it also starts by saying ‘Stop’ to the insanity and by beginning a normal, healthy lifestyle and reducing stress.

Some day in January I’m going to start with my SheSlimEasy Habit Transformation. Since I will only work with 20 participants, the group my fill fast. The last time I offered such a program, I was booked for 2 years in advance, and that within the first two weeks of January. So, if you feel that the SheSlimEasy method might be a good way for you as my subscriber can already register now and start with the program. I promise, it will not interfere with your Holiday feasts. I would like you to first go through my free webinar so that you understand what tis program includes and what you can expect. You can access the recording of the webinar here: https://cdm.weightlossexpertsrevealthetruth.com/webinar-truth-weightloss-registration.

Enjoy your Holidays….and happy slimming!

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Is your health and weight loss goal worth five to fifteen minutes of your time every day?

If you want to learn a process that leads you to constant weight loss success by baby stepping, check out my Facebook group. 

You can get a feeling for the 4 Pillars of Weight Loss process for free. Simply join my closed Facebook group where you can go through the process by taking tiny daily baby steps completely stress free and still make tremendous progress. 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/4pillarsoflastingweightloss