Women all around the world have experienced this: they go on a diet, lose some weight and after a while they gain the lost weight back. The harder the diet was, the more frustrating this is.
Yes, the awareness that diets don’t work is rapidly growing among women all around the world. But what is the alternative to the dieting/exercise approach?
That’s a great question and the answer is not obvious…unfortunately. There are many theories out there, and most of them are quick fixes which really don’t fix anything. This is very confusing for a woman who is looking for serious answers.
I personally had to grow into my sixties, work with over 10,000 women worldwide, I had to go through decades of struggling with my weight to detect at least 75 possible root causes of weight gain in women. This may sound like an intimidating number but it’s not nearly as hopeless to find your root causes as you may think. As a matter of fact, understanding your root cause will significantly speed up the weight loss process, and in most cases the result is sustainable, unless there is another root cause in effect.
So let’s first talk about root causes.
There are five levels on which a cause for weight gain can happen:
Physical pillar: For example. toxic overload, hormonal imbalance, food intolerances, some auto-immune diseases, parasites, stress and many more. Actually, eating too much and a lack of exercise are only two of the 72 causes I have counted so far. So please forget dieting for a moment.
Your emotions: When there is an emotional imbalance of some sort, this can lead to many behavioral habits. The habits in that case are only the symptom but not the cause. Especially for women, the emotional pillar is a big one when it comes to weight loss. Some of the most common emotional causes are a lack of love, not feeling valued, overwhelm, not being seen, etc.
Mindset: Although the first two pillars are very important, the probably most important one to look at is the mindset. Especially women have developed a terrible mindset around food, weight and their body. They are often so fixated on what to eat and what to wear on any given day, that they think of their weight all day long. And after a while those thoughts become so automated that they run on autopilot on a more subconscious level. And that is really dangerous because the women are then not even aware of their thinking anymore. Therefore, uprooting a negative mindset is a very important and large part of my work because this is something most women can’t handle by themselves anymore.
Subconscious Mind: According to psychologists, 80% of the problems are in the subconscious mind, why it is almost impossible for most of the women to understand what the real problem behind their weight issue is. The good news is that 80% of the solution is also on that level, and that’s where my expertise is. The largest part of the work is the digging and the finding. Once we have found the subconscious patterns, it’s easy and fast to transform them. And equally the weight loss process is also fast and relatively effortless. Even transforming past trauma is most of the time a matter of a few weeks or a couple of months.
Spiritual level: It happens more and more that we can also see some spiritual issues and root causes behind weight problems, for example when there is some karma involved.
Imagine you never having to worry about your weight ever again!
Go and dig deeper.
Go look beneath the surface. The problem is not the stomach but the psychology behind the eating. The problem is not whata person eats but whyshe eats what she eats. Is she bored? Is she lonely? Is she unfulfilled? Does she feel under-valued? Does she feel abandoned? Is she with the wrong partner or at the wrong job? Has she been abused?
I can tell you that in my 40 years of working with overweight women I have seen and heard hundreds of different stories. Never ever did I recommend any of the over 10,000 participants to do a diet. Develop health eating, yes, but not a weight loss diet. What we do is learn to apply an overall healthy lifestyle just for the sake of a healthy body.
How on earth do you want to fix that with gastric surgery?
How on earth does anybody believe that it’s enough to get you on a diet?
Here are a few examples of women who lost weight simply by transforming their root causes:
I lost 54 pounds and kept it off for 14 years after I transformed some childhood trauma. I didn’t do any diet and I did not exercise at that time.
Trudy lost weight after she realized that her root cause was a rape. Once she had transformed that traumatic situation in our coaching, she lost weight without changing her diet or exercise regimen.
Tina wanted to find the love of her life, and after we have transformed her invisible wall which has repelled the right men before, she not only found the love of her life, she also lost weight although this was never her goal or focus.
As a teenager, Mavies found out that she is gay, and being raised in a catholic family she never learned how to deal with her feelings. So she closed up and did not allow anybody into her life and heart. When I met her, she had just survived two heart attacks and breast cancer, and her face seemed lifeless, like hidden behind a thick layer of fog. After we started working together she learned to love unconditionally regardless of the sex of a person. She has accomplished that within the first month of working with me and is still in the transformation process.
For many women, the extra weight serves as a protective shield. In those cases a coach should never take that away from her through a diet, a pill or a gastric surgery. The very first job of a coach in such a situation is to replace that protective layer with another form of protection and through helping their client to set healthy boundaries so that the weight is no longer needed.
Please, don’t be afraid of looking deeper. It’s so deliberating to break free from these invisible shackles and to find your true, slim you underneath these layers.
Although it requires a little bit more than changing your eating habits, it’s still the easiest, fastest, most sustainable and quickest way to lose your weight. Why? Because it’s the most direct way.
There is often a significant disparity between what overweight women want for weight loss and what they truly need. We humans often struggle to identify our true needs in solving a problem, primarily because it falls outside our area of expertise. And most of the time it’s exactly our wants that lead us astray on the wrong paths.
Women’s wants on a weight loss path often align with the outdated belief ‘of eating less and exercising more’. However, what they genuinely need to achieve long-lasting weight loss is often something entirely different. What women truly require is a transformation of the old paradigm and their habits.
Now, let’s explore three lists that outline what overweight women typically desire when it comes to their weight loss journey. Some beliefs are inherently wrong, some women’s beliefs are partly wrong, and some are correct.
LIST 1:
Things overweight women believe to need that are basically wrong
“I need to learn how to count calories to make better food choices.”
Counting calories is not the most effective or sustainable approach for long-term weight management. First of all, it’s a flawed system that has nothing to do with what’s going on in human bodies. The calorie myth has long been debunked, yet it stubbornly remains in people’s heads. Secondly, the quality of food: is much more important than the quantity. Counting calories alone does not take into account the nutritional value and quality of the food you consume. Not all calories are created equal, and focusing solely on calorie counting can lead to neglecting essential nutrients your body needs for overall health. A balanced and nutritious diet, consisting of whole, unprocessed foods, is essential for sustainable weight loss and optimal well-being. And here we are talking about a healthy lifestyle and not about a weight loss diet.
It’s not the calorie counting you need to learn but to find out WHY you eat too much or crave the wrong foods. What is behind the eating? Once you have that figured out and transformed, eating too much will no longer be an issue.
“I need a structured meal plan to help me make healthier choices.”
Although this statement is not entirely wrong, it is based on food, seeing food as the sole root cause of weight problems. This is something your intellect tells you that you need, but for most people it’s nonsense. 90 percent of weight loss coaches give you this kind of advice because this is what they understand or believe to know about weight issues, but they’re completely oblivious about the real causes of weight gain. The choices you make regarding food are just symptoms of a deeper-rooted problem. While there is nothing wrong with making healthy choices, the root problem is why you’re not making healthier choices and not your meal plan per se. Once you have uprooted the underlying causes, making healthy eating choices will be the most natural thing for you and you will not need a structured meal plan but eat what your body needs.
“I need guidance on portion control.”
The same is true here. Unless your eating habits are completely out of control – and even then – what you need more than control is finding and eliminating the root cause. If you feel that your portions are out of control, your body might be deprived, or this is a sign of a deeper problem, a psychological problem, or maybe it could even be a health problem.
“I need a workout routine that fits into my busy schedule.”
This statement is also based on the false and outdated paradigm of eating less and exercising more. On top of that, the problem is seen in the person’s busy schedule, and that is a false mindset of setting life priorities wrong. If you add such a tactic into your weight loss strategy, you’re going to fail with it because it’s not based on the truth and your needs. It’s something that has to get squeezed in, and thus you will never have fun with your exercise/workout routine. Of course, there is nothing wrong with working out, and it should always be part of a healthy lifestyle. But if your schedule is so busy that you can’t fit a minimum of exercise into it, then you have a priority problem, not a time problem.
“I need practical tips for eating healthy while traveling for business.”
If you feel that you need practical tips for eating healthily while traveling for business, then you’re on a fad diet and not on a healthy, sustainable weight loss strategy. This is a sign that you have been brainwashed into believing that you don’t know what’s good for you, which is an insult. Here too, if you need tips for eating healthy…regardless of where in the world you are…then the problem is not the eating but what’s behind your eating habits. Maybe you are not aware of what’s healthy and what’s not. You’re focusing on outside solutions instead of what your body needs. Again, you have to tackle the problem from the other side, at the root cause, or simply learn to listen to your body’s needs. When traveling, ask your body what it needs. It may be something very different from what it needs at home. Meat, fish, salads, and vegetables are always available in every country of the world. If you stick to those, you can’t do much wrong. Believe me, YOU know what is good and healthy! Don’t allow anybody to tell you otherwise.
“I need guidance on how to read food labels and make informed choices.”
Well, if you have a lot of time and understanding food labels is your passion, that’s certainly an interesting hobby. But if you only need guidance with that for weight loss, if you have lost contact with your body and your common sense, then the problem is not the food labels. The real problem then is that you’re eating the wrong foods in the first place. Maybe you’re just naive, believing the nonsense that something with a food label could ever be healthy. The simplest guidance I can give you is, to stay away from any foods which HAVE labels. You may live under the false assumption that you don’t have time to cook from scratch and hence you need pre-cooked food. And, don’t get me wrong, I can fully appreciate that you feel that way because of your demanding schedule. Here too, the problem lies deeper. First of all, it has something to do with your life priorities, you’re not prioritizing your health. Secondly, it says a lot about what you believe to deserve (labeled foods are no better than any dog or cat food). Thirdly, eating foods with a label, which we know that they contain toxins, does not save you time but takes precious time away from your life…you win nothing. therefore, may I suggest making your health a priority and seeing where else you can free up some time? Maybe you could stop counting calories or learn to read food labels which is very time-consuming. Cooking from scratch does not necessarily mean that you need a lot of time. You can make a healthy meal in as little as five to ten minutes.
“I need strategies to navigate social events and parties without derailing my progress.”
If you have a healthy, sensible weight loss strategy and a good relationship with your body, you don’t have to care about food during social events or while traveling. You can only spoil the weight loss process when you’re on a restrictive fad diet, which as we know, leads to yo-yo dieting. I have clients who lost weight during Thanksgiving week while eating everything they had on the table (including pies) and enjoying the time with their loved ones. It all begins with your mindset and your inner paradigm. THAT’S where the change has to begin and not with your diet. Once you have accomplished that, neither social events nor traveling will ever be a problem for you anymore. Eating has always been a natural process because your life depends on it. As soon as something so simple and joyful like eating becomes complicated, there is something wrong with your approach.
“I need to address my lack of knowledge about nutrition and healthy eating.”
Again, this implies that food is the enemy. It’s not. It’s a false paradigm. It’s the reason why you eat what you eat and why you overeat which is the problem, not the food itself. It’s your inner world that leads to weight gain, not your food. Overweight people naturally tend to give food way too much power over their body and weight, while the real master over our health and body is within us. Everybody knows deep within what healthy food is. Everything boxed, bottled, or canned is NOT.
“I need practical tips for meal prepping and planning ahead.”
If you are so used to feeding on prepared meals – which is, by the way, one of the root causes for being overweight – then you may never have learned how to cook a healthy meal. In that case, I highly recommend taking a few cooking classes and finding joy in the cooking process. It’s such a great feeling to take care of your body by cooking a delicious meal. It instantly increases your feeling of self-worth. For example, how about a cooking class for Mediterranean cooking, Italian cooking, French cooking, Chinese cooking, Greek cooking, etc? These are all healthy ways of eating. Just add a lot of fresh produce.
“I need resources on creating a healthy and supportive environment at home and work.”
This too is a matter of setting healthy life priorities. Yes, a healthy and supportive environment at home and work is crucial for your health. If one of your highest priorities is health for you and your loved ones, then you’d do everything in your power to create a healthy and supportive environment, be it at home or work. Only you can tell what a “healthy” environment means for you and your loved ones. Besides, you have to feel comfy and at home. Nobody is holding you back except yourself. If you feel that way, you’re living in kind of a prison of an old paradigm that has led you to create the environment you currently have. Then it’s your paradigm that is holding you back, not the environment. The real resources are not somewhere out there, out of your control. They are inside of you.
“I need resources on how to handle food-related triggers and temptations at work.”
Everything else I have said in this chapter is also true for this paradigm. It just doesn’t work that way. You don’t need resources but a deeper understanding of what’s going on within you. What you may need is the transformation of some emotional response patterns you have at work. You see, I understand that you have been told that you need something to handle food-related triggers. This is a way to get you hooked for life. You did not wake up one morning and say to yourself, “Gosh, I need to find something that helps me handle food-related triggers.” This is information that comes from some false weight loss coaches who do not understand that habit transformation is an inside job and not based on some “resources”. Therefore, I can’t blame you for feeling that way.
“I need help in breaking the cycle of emotional eating and finding healthier coping mechanisms.”
Although I agree that you need help in breaking that cycle (nobody can do that by herself because we all have our blind spots), it’s not so much about “coping mechanisms”. This too is one of these false weight loss tips 90% of weight loss coaches would give you, simply because they don’t understand the truth about emotions and emotional eating. It’s not about “coping” but about taking responsibility and shifting your emotions instead of applying a coping mechanism. If you know how you can instantly shift any emotions within seconds.
“I need guidance on managing my time effectively to prioritize my health goals.”
It’s one of the biggest illusions mankind has that we could “manage” time. Time is nothing real although it often feels that way. The planet Earth is probably the only place in the entire universe where something like “time” exists. The prioritizing part is correct, though. It’s all about setting or changing life priorities, which have nothing to do with time. This topic is too complex to talk about in a short paragraph. That’s something I’m going to work on intensively with a small group of people very soon. Once you understand the real issue, you will never have a stress or time problem ever again.
“I can’t control my eating habits anymore. The only thing that can help me lose weight is a gastric bypass.”
These beliefs stem from a flawed comprehension of genuine weight loss success and the necessary steps involved. It stems from a paradigm that tells you that food is the enemy. They are rooted in an outdated, erroneous paradigm that misguides women in their weight loss efforts. As long as you adhere to this misleading paradigm, achieving lasting fat loss will remain elusive. In such cases, a significant mindset shift becomes imperative. If your situation has gone so far astray that you feel you need gastric surgery, then I highly recommend to join me in one of my free one-on-one coaching sessions where I create an individualized weight loss strategy together with you. This will give you a good idea of what works regarding eating and other fattening habits. Try that first before getting yourself ‘under the knife’. And, speaking of gastric surgeries, they never solve the real, underlying root cause, which is the reason why surgeons are so perplexed when their patients gain the lost weight back after 10 years. Before you make such a decision, please check with me what healthier possibilities you have to lose weight for good instead of doing something so threatening with questionable results that can’t be reversed.
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Once you understand the subtleties between your wants and needs, and between your questions and the answers you will receive, your weight loss journey becomes easier and more focused.
Did you ever hear the saying that once you can ride a bicycle you’ll never forget how to do it? Even if you would not use it for 20 years and then one day decide that you want to take the bicycle instead of the car, you would still do it the right way without having to think about.
The interesting thing is that it takes a very short time to form a new habit we find pleasurable. On the other hand it can take between 30 and to 254 days to form a new habit that is not so convenient (Study by University College of London performed on 96 people). Of course, more complex behaviors like playing the piano require more time to become a habit. Less complex habits like pealing an apple in a certain way can be formed within a few days. What all habits have in common though is that, once formed they will never go away. Kind of scary, isn’t it?
There are many different kinds of habits, for instance habits that secure our survival like learning how to walk. If we had to decide each time which step to put forward next, we would get crazy. Our brain would constantly be focused on how to do simple, repetitive tasks instead of engaging in new, more important ones.
Since we form new habits by making choices – most choices we make rather serve our lazy self – we have many habits we are not even entirely aware of. Some habits affect our live more than others. Some are beneficial and lead to health, wellness, happiness, great relationships, success and wealth while others lead the opposite way. Some habits have drastic consequences and others only minor consequences in our lives. Some habits such as smoking, consuming too much alcohol or use other drugs can offset or set in motion several less powerful habits. They literally cause a chain reaction of several more habits that are either beneficial or not.
One of these beneficial habits that are followed by other positive ones is exercising, for instance. Once you exercise daily, you need to drink more water. Then you feel less hungry and eat less heavy food. After a while you develop the desire to eat more healthy food so that exercising becomes easier. In the meantime you start losing weight what motivates you to adopt other positive habits and keep that healthy lifestyle.
Improving the quality of sleep and getting enough sleep (7.5 to 8 hours every night) is another such power habit that creates a domino effect. You lose weight easier and faster, you have more stamina during the day, you are more focused and concentrated, and you have more energy to go out and so some exercise.
Smoking on the other hand can negatively offset the benefits of daily exercising and healthy eating. Because of the many toxins cigarettes contain, the body gets a load of toxins it has to deal with what inevitably leads to weight gain.
The trick is to stick to a new habit long enough so that your brain begins to form new neural pathways. If you give up too soon, the brain will quickly and easily force you back into your old habit and all the effort, time, and energy was wasted. The next time you are making another attempt to change that particular habit, it will be even more difficult to eliminate it. It is necessary to stick with your desired habit long enough so that the brain has enough time to form new neural pathways. This is one reason why over 90% give up on their New Year’s resolutions every year. Poor habit is also responsible for the fact that more people want to become rich than actually are rich…they are just not willing to form the habits which are necessary to achieve success.
Another reason is that people don’t really know how to change their habits and are trying to do it with willpower. But willpower is only needed at the beginning to decide on the new habit. What you will need after that is patience, perseverance and consistency. Most people make the mistake to use the little willpower they have left to keep going, not realizing that willpower is only the initial power. After that it requires discipline to show up every day for a certain time, patience, and perseverance until the new habit (be it weight loss habit, success habit, or any other habit) will be formed. These are also qualities we need to develop to be slim, healthy and successful in life.
What is very important for that part of habit forming is a strong why. If your life depends on, the chances are much bigger that you will succeed with your habit forming process than just being angry at yourself for giving up too soon. For example, if you’re a mom of a 7-year old and your doctor tell you that you’ll within two years if you don’t lose weight, you would turn every stone to get rid of your extra weight ASAP.
If you’d try to outsmart your bad habits by taking a weight loss pill or by getting a gastric surgery done, for instance, your habits would still be effective and the struggle would go on and on. Habits don’t just change because you go on a diet, take a weight loss pill or get a gastric band.
There are much easier ways to change habit than trying to come up with more willpower than you have. One way is to transform them instead of trying to eliminate bad habit. Habits can’t be eliminated anyway. Once the neural pathways are there, the old habit will remain. The only thing you can do is replacing the poor habit with an even stronger positive one. There are some smart ways you can use to fool the brain into collaborating and embracing a new habit. However, if you don’t know how to do that, the chances that you’re going to lose that war are big.
Our body always follows the rules of nature and is most of the time smarter than the person sitting inside of the body. But once we begin to understand the nature of our bodies, how it works, what it needs to accomplish, and how we can rather support our body instead of trying to force something onto it, we become a team and changes will be much easier and more effective. Then you will be the smart leader and your brain and body will become your enthusiastic partners supporting you in your weight loss goals.
As soon as you let your subconscious become your partner, habit change can occur almost instantly. Such an immediate habit change makes your whole life a lot easier and things can begin to change immediately as well.
Weight struggles and plateaus have mainly to do with some poor habits (most of them are unknown to the person), and once these habits have changed, our lives will immediately begin to change as well. Weight loss then becomes much more effortless and better health will be another consequence.
The better you and your body become as a team, the faster and easier you can begin to transform other poor habits as well and your live will drastically improve in any regards.
By now you have learned about several contributing factors and root causes of weight gain and the inability to lose extra fat.
But have you ever heard that your clutter could add to your weight, too?
When I heard that for the first time from my friend and interview partner Linda J.Binns I was not surprised at all. Because stuck energy is stuck energy is stuck energy….
It just began to make so much sense to me.
Did you ever hear the expression “As within so without?” Actually, it’s not an expression but nothing less but one of the seven Universal Laws, just like the Law of Attention is one of them and true for everything and everyone. Whether you like it or not, these Universal Laws just work with or without you believing in them and with or without your active contribution. Your outer body is just a reflection of what’s going on inside of you, and likewise your home is as well a reflection of your inner world.
When I asked Linda if it could really be that easy to get rid of clutter and lose weight she answered: “Well, it can certainly my be a contributing or helping factor. Now you know what I want to avoid is people thinking that they can go out and get rid of everything and automatically lose weight. What I hope to show through this interview is the connection between the stuff that we accumulate and any weight that we accumulate and help you understand that and to understand what’s going on, what’s the connection there and how from that perspective when you let go of the clutter, it can actually have a positive impact on your weight as well.”
To that I want to add that it’s all about energy and your inner energy. If you just want to proof us wrong and declutter your house without going through the inner process of letting go, not much will happen. You will feel relieved and lighter, but that doesn’t necessarily means that your fat is now going to burn off like crazy. However, it can. It all depends on what is going on within you. You not only have to ready to let go of clutter but also be ready and willing to let go of everything that lead to weight gain and that is keeping you overweight.
The thing is that the more clutter one has, the more it attracts and that by sorting out one’s stuff literally sorts out one’s life.
“When we attract something, when we are attracting the clutter into our lives, clutter is a symptom of something that is going with us. When you think of energy flow, what clutter does is it stops energy flowing and it creates stuck energy around us. So, when we accumulate clutter, it’s a symptom that something is not in alignment within us and so we accumulate stuff as a symptom of something being out of balance inside of us and that can be. You may not be experiencing it yet as health issues but then you may as well. And then the more stuff you have, the more it adds to itself. And when you sort out that stuff, as you sort out that stuff it starts to help you come more into balance energetically and physically. So you know it starts out as a symptom as you start to address it and you sort out the stuff, it could help you to find the solution for whatever is going on with you on a physical level.”
Dealing with the clutter & letting some things go, can really bring major changes in one’s life. When I asked Linda what of change we might experience by decluttering, she answered, “You can really expect any kind of change. I mean it really depends on the person and what’s going on in their life. But as I said, collecting clutter, accumulating stuff is a symptom of something that is not right in your life or something that is not right with you. So, as you start to eliminate the clutter and you start to deal with that, anything can change. And I had people experience all kinds of different changes from suddenly finding the answer to a problem they have been experiencing for many years, or the right person suddenly showing up to help them, or business owners when they let go off stuff attracting new clients seemingly out of the blue. You know what it does is … as you let go off the stuff, it opens up the space for things to change, for the things that you do really need to come into your life. And so really anything can happen depending on what’s going on with the person at the time.”
“As you let go off the stuff, it opens up the space for things to change, for the things that you do really need to come into your life.”
Of course, this is very individual. What happens to one person as a result of her letting go process may not happen to anybody else. You can’t tell in advance what is going to change for you. That’s the beauty of inner processes in general: they are entirely individual and so are the results. And although I’m repeating myself – I have to so that you really understand that from the depth of your heart – this can nor will it ever happen with a diet or exercise program. Healthy eating and exercise always have to be part of a sensible weight loss strategy, but they don’t solve the root causes. And that’s really the most important part about my work – I never know in advance how things are going to work out for any particular client. Still after 38 years of doing this work I often get surprised about the results.
To that Linda adds, “It is really very individual. And yes, it’s different for everybody … all I can tell you is that, if you address this, if you deal with the clutter, things can and will change for you for the better.” And the best about this is, that things will change in the best possible way for you, what is the best for you.
Linda is a Feng Shui expert and was often called to look at people’s houses. So I asked her how common clutter is among overweight people and if she can see a common pattern.
“Yes! It’s very common. Even if it’s not the whole house, there is usually some area, at least one area. Very often it will be the closet. I remember walking with one couple – they didn’t have weight issues but they had health issues – their house was immaculate, but what they had was a basement and an attic absolutely full to the brim of stuff. Boxes and boxes of stuff, there was no energy movement at all. So, they were living in a kind of sandwich between this stuck energy. So, it may not be everywhere in your house, but it will be somewhere, and if you have any issue with weight, I can almost guarantee you have issues with clutter somewhere in your home.”
Holly wow! When I heard that I was never more motivated to go through all my stuff and get rid of some clutter.
The interesting thing is that enhancements through Feng Shui can never be fully effective as long as there is clutter and thus the flow of energy is still blocked. So many women who struggle with weight constantly feel kind of stuck in their lives, or even imprisoned. So I asked Linda if the simple act of decluttering could positively affect the energy flow in our bodies; especially weight related energy that may be trapped.
“Yes! Just simply decluttering absolutely affects the energy flow in your body . And you know weight is stuck energy. It means that … it’s not simply a question of diet and exercise for everybody. I know of many women who are overweight because of not eating enough, for example. But the weight issue goes so much deeper than just diet and exercise; and what you have to understand is that your environment is simply a reflection of what is going on with you. It’s a reflection of everything that’s going on in your life and again, the clutter is simply a symptom, it’s a sign of what is going on within you. So, when you deal with that clutter and you start to release and open up the energy, it has a very positive effect on your own personal energy because you are directly connected to your home. It’s a reflection of you. So, as you start to clear out that clutter, it starts to clear out your own energy.”
I am sure that ninety percent of my readers now thank Linda for that statement that being overweight is very often not a matter of eating, and it’s true.
So do you feel that you want to declutter a particular closet or a drawer?
Go do it! You will feel lighter after. Besides, your motivation may not get any higher to declutter than it is right now. So use that positive energy.
Is your health and weight loss goal worth five to fifteen minutes of your time every day?
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I can’t count how many examples of negative self-talk I have heard from women in my 38 years of being a weight loss coach. Many of the things women tell themselves made me even cry. And these were all wonderful, lovely and loveable women. Yet they all found the worst names for themselves….worse names than they would ever call a dog, let alone somebody else.
A lack of self-love in overweight women is almost omni-present. It seems that overweight women very often also have a problem to love themselves because they did not experience to be loved much during their childhood or in a marriage. They just don’t think they’re loveable, no matter how wonderful and lovely they are. And the worst thing is that they are so convinced that nobody can love them, that even when an entire class of 20 other workshop participants are doing everything to convince them how wonderful and beautiful they are, they find it hard to believe it. Their response often is, “You’re only saying this to be nice with me.”
But fact is that the more we love ourselves the more it’s natural that we take care of what we put into our mouth, what we eat, and what we do to our body. For many overweight women this is probably a far-reaching goal because they are not there yet.
For example, one of my interview guests, Oprah-featured author Laura Fenamore, used to call herself “big, fat, ugly drunk.” Despite being obese and an alcoholic, she had to learn to love herself first to heal both, her weight and her addiction.
These negative self-talks are so common among overweight women, yet they are far from being helpful. That way we can’t build a good relationship with our body and promote lasting weight loss. In order to lose extra weight for good, you need to be in a good relationship with your body to get its full collaboration. How would you like if somebody called you the worst names and then expected you to help them do something for them? Your healthy reaction would be to respond, “Since you can’t be friendly to me, why would I waste any time and energy helping you?”
How did Laura manage to go from being insanely obese and an alcoholic to being slim, sober, and successful? “Well the first thing that I had to do was really wake up to what I was doing. Because so many people are on auto-pilot that they aren’t even aware of their negative self-talk; they are just not aware that they can’t stop eating or that they are obsessed about food. Maybe they feel dissected like ‘there is something wrong with me.’ But often times people don’t walk around saying, Oh! I call myself an ugly person every day. They just do it. But what happens is, when they get somebody like you coming in their life, and you’re here to help people see another way, they all of a sudden start to notice, ‘oh my goodness, maybe I am not talking to myself so nicely.’ And they start to notice and from the place of noticing, then they can make a shift. I mean it’s really the first step. The first step is to really notice what’s happening, and when I notice that, ‘Oh my goodness, how I’ve talked to myself is just horrible.’ And people say this all the time. ‘I wouldn’t talk to a stranger or a dog the way that I talk to myself. I was really, really mean to myself.’ And that is not going to change until we become conscious of it.”
And then, once you become conscious of it, it’s just a process, the same way that all of the inner work is. It’s a process that is needed…not a pill. Although “…we want instant gratification, but instant gratification doesn’t come. It’s really a process to undo those thoughts and feelings and behaviors that we’ve been living with. It just takes one little step at the time…to undo that negative self-talk and to begin to start talking to ourselves with kindness, compassion and love. And even if we find that we’re hanging out with people that are just really talking nasty to us, or they are being just as abusive…a lot of things may need to shift in order for you to move forward,” Laura continued.
Of course, “…that’s not easy for everybody to hear, but I am saying that I’ve had people walk away from jobs and marriages and all kinds of situations where they really were not there for the right reasons; because they were there because they felt like they had to be there not because they wanted to be there. And it was actually holding them back from their truth and what they wanted and valued.”
The problem is that when you’re being treated badly by other people – family, a spouse or friends – then it’s much easier to think negatively about yourself. And after a while you begin to believe that they are right…you literally buy into that lie. And the longer you live with such a lie, the more you begin to believe it and the harder you will find it to stop those self-abusive talks, because “…one thing feeds into the other.” It gets you on a proverbial downward spiral.
The really dangerous thing about all that negative self-talk is that it gets on auto-pilot. After a while you don’t even realize what you’re thinking about yourself. And even worse, what you think and how you feel about yourself, create a new reality and makes matters worse. The longer such a pattern lasts, the harder it will be to lose extra weight for good.
If this is you, then I’m urging you to get away from such negative self-talk. Don’t allow yourself or anybody else to talk badly about you. You are a wonderful being and loveable. The first step is really to become aware of your negative self-talk. Then stop it!
Stop it!
Just stop it!
The next step then is to be grateful to your body, to what it’s doing for you every second of the day, for years and decades without ever getting a ‘Thank you’ from you. It just does its job as long as it can, even though you often reject your own body. Just know that your body is an intelligent being and it knows exactly what you are doing. Don’t you ever believe that your body can’t be hurt by what you think or say about it.
After the gratitude comes love. Start with something you like about your body. Maybe you have beautiful eyes, great hair or nicely shaped legs. There is something beautiful in every woman.
Maintainable weight loss begins with loving yourself. I know you may think, ‘I will love myself once I’ll be slim.’ Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. You have condemned and abused your body so often and for so long, that you first have to stop that and give your body proof that it has a reason to cooperate with you and burn off that extra fat.
To that Laura says, “Well that’s another one of those components. It’s like life is happening now, it’s not a dress-rehearsal, and why would we want to start liking and loving ourselves once the weight is off? I mean, I understand intellectually why people go there. Because they think in their minds, ‘I am not going to love myself until after I get thin or after I stop eating so much.’ But the truth is that you are who you are now, not later. Now. So the love has to be and the self-acceptance has to begin now. And from that place you will stop the war.”
Having more self-love means coming from a compassionate place. The negative self-talk may not go away right away. “Again it’s a process, not a pill. It takes a little bit of time, and it’s that place at self-acceptance. Like ‘I appreciate myself now.“
Laura, “It was really another one of those turning points for me. I had to get that, oh my goodness, I have to accept myself as I am in order for me to release this weight and keep it off. And I really think that that was part of the magic, that I was in a place of self-acceptance and self-love, as I worked myself down the scale. Did I want to be 200 pounds or 220 pounds? No. absolutely not, and when I say to people ‘you have to accept yourself as you are,’ they are kinda like, ‘but I don’t want to look like this, I don’t want to be this way.’ I know. But if you walk around everyday saying, I hate my body, I hate the way I look, I want to lose weight, I hate to diet,” it’s not going to happen.
What if you’re just going to understand and feel that you can change slowly but surely? Then, while you’re changing, you begin to appreciate your body for what it does and you’re going to do the emotional and mental work that will lead you to feeling good about yourself on all levels. Would that be helpful? How fast do you think things would change for you?
Just try!
Just start somewhere!
It’s a choice.
I understand that such a process is not easy when you have to go through it alone. For that purpose I have created a closed Facebook group where you can be among like-minded women who have all the same or similar issues like you have. You don’t have to go through this alone. Both, Laura and I had to get help. It would be too big of an ordeal to do it all alone. So let us be in your boat so that we can assist you to lose your extra weight faster.
Is your health and weight loss goal worth five to fifteen minutes of your time every day?
If you want to learn a process that leads you to constant weight loss success by baby stepping, check out my Facebook group.
You can get a feeling for the 4 Pillars of Weight Loss process for free. Simply join my closed Facebook group where you can go through the process by taking tiny daily baby steps completely stress free and still make tremendous progress.
Recently, there have some fat-burning supplements hit the market with big claims and promises. Because people often ask me what I think about these products, I tried several for myself. Besides, I knew what I had to look for and how to protect my health. In this article I want to share with you my experiences and conclusions.
First of all, those products I’ve tried didn’t work at all.
I’m sure that some people must have lost some weight, otherwise the manufacturer could not make such big claims like “lose 1 pound a day”. Well, maybe I’m still just too naïve or credulous. I just can’t believe that there are people out there who would lie so shamelessly and take advantage of others. But, of course, they do exist. Althought I have seen many of those, I still prefer to believe in the good in people.
To gain an understanding of what I want to share with you today, let’s assume that these supplements work at least for some people. And let’s take the extreme example of “lose 1 pound a day”.
Doesn’t that sound tempting? Gosh, if that is true, how fast could we all lose our extra weight!
BUT….
Do we really want to lose it that fast? Is such a fast weight loss healthy? And most of all is it maintainable? Because, who in her right mind wants to lose weight quickly just to gain that lost weight back? So I assume that we are all on the same page here and want to lose weight for good.
To get a better understanding of how much sense such a speedy weight loss would make, we have to take a look into our body. There are two major issues with that.
First of all, when we lose weight in an unnatural way fast – meaning that we use a substance that forces our body to burn fat very quickly – what happens then in our body?
The faster you lose fat, the more your body will be instantly be flooded with toxins and acid. Keep in mind that extra fat serves your body as storage room for toxins and acid in order to keep them safely away from your vital organs and most of all, from your bloodstream.
Why does your body do that?
Because, toxins and acid are lethal already in small dosages. That’s why our body comes with such a fantastic safety system to keep you alive as long as possible. In its wisdom, your body is constantly trying to undo all the damage you and your environment are doing. And it does that 24/7, 365 days a year, every year of your hopefully long life. What an ordeal!
But the moment your body is forced to burn that fat quickly, it will be literally flooded with countless toxic substances and acid; and that can be really dangerous. Even a slight increase of acid in your blood can be lethal. That’s why our body is so adamanent in buildig fat layers upon fat layers to store them away in the least harmful way.
What would the alternative be? When you lose weight through leading a healthy lifestyle, your body burns a little bit fat, deals with the released acid and toxins small enough so that your system can really deal with without being jeopardized. So it’s burning fat… excreting the released toxins…burning fat…excreting the released toxins…burning fat, etc. On the other hand, if you use a fat-burning supplement, the process is burning fat…burning fat…burning fat…burning fat, and liver and kidneys have no chance to deal with all these newly released toxins. Your system is not prepared to deal with such a sudden load of acid and toxins at once. The consequences are a damage of some organs (liver damage, kidney damage, skin cancer, etc.) and eventually early death. Although then you would not have to worry about your weight anymore, I assume that this is not an option for you.
If this is not fast enough for you – but keep in mind that we are still talking about maintainable weight loss and not about yo-yo dieting – then there is an alternative. It’s excreting toxins first…letting the body burn fat that is no longer needed…excreting toxins…letting the body burn fat that is no longer needed…excreting toxins, and so on. This is what happens when you do a healthy detox or cleansing. Here too, you can either do it the wrong or the right way. [Please see my program SheSlimEasy 90]
Alas, the flood of acid and toxins is just one downside of fat-burning supplements. There is another consequence of quick weight loss. It’s not unhealthy but extremely ugly. I’m talking about the consequence of having lose skin. Lose skin always comes with unnaturally fast weight loss. Natural weight loss, where the body has time to adjust in a natural and healthy manner, hardly leads to saggy skin.
“I can get rid of the excess skin with a plastic surgery,” you may respond. Yes, you can. But I say that you still did not fully consider the consequences.
First of all, each surgery leaves scarves, and scarves derange the functions of the meridians what leads to a variety of health problems. Besides, this would not look nice because then your body would soon look like a map with ugly lines and bumps all over. Thirdly, your body would not look nicely toned and shaped. You may be slim, that’s true, but you will not look attractive because your body would lack a nice shape.
Can you see how the temptation of losing weight quickly leads to new and even more problems? On top of that, quick weight loss is never sustainable. Now you have all these other issues, that is, if you’re still alive; and on top of that you will soon be fat again, now having more problems than ever before.
Speaking of the price of these supplements, they are quite expensive. A year’s worth costs approximately $780. Yes, you pay monthly and thus it doesn’t hurt so much. Most likely one year of consuming these supplements will not do because the lost weight tends to come back. So you will more likely have to buy these supplements year after year. And, keep in mind what other costs the fast weight loss will bring in terms of health and longevity. I know people who had to spend all their savings in health costs. And instead of enjoying their life after retirement or buying their dream house, they now run from doctor to doctor and spend a ton of money every month, just to function minimally. Believe me, that’s not what I call a good life. Because everything extreme we do to our body can lead to autoimmunity, and any kind of autoimmune diseases are very expensive to treat, not to speak about the destroyed liver and kidneys, and the skin cancer because these organs could no longer deal with such a load of toxins and acid waste material.
Then there is a third problem with that approach. It does not eliminate the root cause. With that approach – be it diet, exercise, pills, or surgery – you either mask or treat the symptom but not the cause. The symptom may go away for a while or be invisible, but some day it will come back. Symptoms will always come back like a boomerang as long as the root cause is still there. Symptoms are your body’s way of communicating with you. And as long as you don’t deal with the real problem and solve it, the symptoms will come back. So what sense does it make to treat the symptom before the root cause will be eliminated or transformed?
None whatsoever.
I had clients who thought that my programs were too expensive and that they first wanted to try X and Y. Of course, they turned out to try X, Y, Z, A, B, and C. Then they eventually ended up in one of my workshops. Only, then I had to deal with a lot more issues than they had a couple of years earlier.
So you spend a lot of money.
You lose precious time and waste your energy.
You lose weight fast but you overtax your excretion organs and get yourself in severe danger of becoming severally ill or even die prematurely.
Then you get that ugly, saggy skin.
Both leads to higher health costs.
And when you’ll gain the lost weight back, you will have to keep purchasing these supplements, quickly getting yourself in an endless downward spiral. And some day you will end up at my door again.
So, may I introduce you to a healthier alternative where you can lose weight fast now(not ultra fast but still fast) while detoxifying in a healthy way, and all that without getting so much excess skin that the body can’t adjust anymore and safe you a lot of money and sorrow?
My SheSlim programs are all about transformation of the root causes. Once the root cause(s) is eliminated, your body has no longer a reason to hold onto the extra fat and can begin to burn it off in its own speed. For example, in my SheSlimEasy program we transform all the habitual root causes – we work on eight habit groups and over 20 poor, fattening habits. In my SheSlimFast program we then take the detoxification to the next level, where the most weight loss can happen. In my SheSlimSmart program, we take care of your mindset and your psychology and use mental techniques for faster and easier weight loss in accord with your body. The SheSlimForever program is then about the transformation of psychological root causes and trauma. The last two workshops are mainly for maintainable weight loss while the first two can lead to fast weight loss in healthy ways. For all these programs the main goal is maintainable weight loss through transformation.
That’s the big difference.
The big difference is maintainable weight loss through transformation.
This path is certainly faster than constant yo-yo dieting. It’s safe, healthy, and maintainable. So here you really have it all.
And here is another fantastic benefit most people are not even aware of. With this approach you are creating a nice domino effect.
By transforming the root causes, they also automatically improve their overall health, their social life, their love and sex life, their professional success, their finances, and their relationships. Many of my former clients have even deepened their spiritual life. These are all very positive and extremely powerful ‘side effects’ you can’t get from a diet, a supplement or a gastric surgery.
So ask yourself, which side effects would you rather have? Illness, burn out, saggy skin, early death?
Or how about a nicely shaped slim body, great health and vitality, and massive improvements in every aspect of your life that may take a little bit longer?
It happens now and then that I meet a former participant on the street or on Facebook. Some of them I have on the phone now and then. And what I hear from them are statements like the following: “Since my parents have followed your workshop, you have often been a topic during our family meals, and what I have learned from you indirectly, I can now pass on to my family and they all have had great successes by following your advice.” That was a statement I recently heard from a young man whose parents attended a weekend workshop more than 30 years ago. He now has children of his own and passes on what his parents shared with him during their family meals to his wife and children. Get that, one couple invested in a weekend workshop with me and now three generations are using what they have learned and all are benefitting tremendously in every aspect of their lives, be it school, job, business, health, relationships, you name it.
That’s what I call great value.
A couple of years ago I met a former client of mine in a mall. She told me that she had lost me out of sight when I moved to another country and that she and her mother (both former workshop participants) have been looking for something similar than my workshops for years. They have attended many workshops since and even enrolled in a class to learn an alternative therapy method. But she told me that they were constantly disappointed because, “nothing came even close to your workshops…not even close,” she said.
Frankly, for many years I had no idea that people were feeling that way because I saw them once or twice and then never again. I had no idea that they never came back for the simple fact that they didn’t need my assistance anymore.
How can that be?
The short answer is: Because my methods are based on natural and universal laws which are true for everybody and everything. You can transfer my methods to any problem that might be ailing or bothering you, not just weight loss. And while transforming the causes of weight issues, at the same time you also transform the causes of other diseases and any kind of problems and issues.
These methods work because they are based on fundamental truths!
Another short answer is: we are talking about quality here. We have to begin to distinguish between quality and quantity or between quality and speed. Whatever you do on one level, automatically has a positive effect on all other levels as well. When you change your mindset, this has an effect on every other aspect of your life as well. The same is true for your emotional patterns, how you interact with people, and most of all, how you are treating yourself.
Here is another feedback from one of my former clients. She said, “This was much more than a weight loss program…it was a school of life”.
To sum it up, we could say that these fat burning supplements might lead to fast weight loss. On the other hand, I have tried them without dieting, and they didn’t deliver on the promise. If they were really so great, then there was no diet needed, otherwise it’s rather the diet that leads to weight loss and not the supplement. And there is another aspect we have to take into consideration. We can never know how much these products help because of the placebo effect, what makes these supplements even more expensive. And if they work as promised, the benefit of losig weight fast is far smaller than all the negative side effects.
You can take many detours on the way to your ideal weight…or you can take the straight way by showing a little bit of patience. The choice is yours.
Happy slimming :-).
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Is your health and weight loss goal worth five to fifteen minutes of your time every day?
If you want to learn a process that leads you to constant weight loss success by baby stepping, check out my Facebook group.
You can get a feeling for the 4 Pillars of Weight Loss process for free. Simply join my closed Facebook group where you can go through the process by taking tiny daily baby steps completely stress free and still make tremendous progress.
„This is just an understanding of correct nutritional biochemical facts most doctors do not understand.“ –Dr. James Carlson
Have you ever wondered if what your doctor and dietitians are teaching you might be wrong? Did their recommendations ever help you lose weight and get your cholesterol down without medication?
One of the most amazing and relieving interviews I did was with obesity specialist Dr. James Carlson. And I can literally hear a gigantic sigh of relief coming from my readers.
This is what he said at the very beginning of our interview.
“This is just an understanding of correct nutritional biochemical facts, which I did not always understand. We go back in time about 16 or 17 years ago, I was actually obese; I had high blood pressure; my blood sugar was elevated meaning I was a diabetic; I had very low HDL which is the good cholesterol. I had many things wrong with me. I, at that time did not understand the correct way to eat. Let me also add that at that time I was also a board certified family physician. So you would think I knew what to do to change my life around but I did not!”
“I followed the low fat, low cholesterol hypothesis and I got rid of all the bad cholesterol in my diet. You wouldn’t know it that my body got heavier and my blood pressure went higher, my blood sugar higher HDL/good cholesterol went lower. Basically I made all my conditions worse by following the accepted dietary guidelines, which are still the accepted dietary guidelines. It’s interesting too because when I failed the low fat, low cholesterol diet I put myself on medication and I wasn’t understanding at that time the correct way to eat. So I put myself on the blood pressure medication, I put myself on the cholesterol lowering medication and I actually put myself on the medications until I started to understand the correct way to eat. That understanding was a big ‘eEureka!’ moment in my life when I understood that low fat, low cholesterol eating styles are actually harmful and deadly. I switched away what I was eating, I started eating more fat cholesterol, and wouldn’t you know it, I blew up 70+ pounds, came off my mediactions and the rest is history. Armed with that knowledge, I started bringing that into my practice; telling my patients the correct way to eat. Now, 16 years from that I literally have thousands upon thousands of patients eating the correct way with wonderful, miraculous and marvelous results.”
Gosh, isn’t that refreshing? So many of us have already wondered or even questioned these practices, others are already fully aware of these facts. My first thought was, “Sometimes it would be really helpful if doctors had to go through what we are going through and suffer from the same ailments their patients do so that they have a better motivation to dig for the truth.”
Dr. Carlson continued, “Before I knew the correct way to eat, I have been telling thousands of people the incorrect way to eat! It’s interesting that how we physicians are trying to do it in America. We are told low fat and low cholesterol, of course influenced heavily by the pharmaceutical companies; and then we are told that if the diet we told you didn’t work, we have medications we could give you. That’s the wrong way to think. I’m somewhat embarrassed to say that those thousands of patients I have told to follow low fat and low cholesterol, really not a single one of them did okay with that where they didn’t need medications. Most of them needed medications. And I didn’t step back and said to myself ‘Wait a minute! I’m putting all these people on low fat low cholesterol diet and almost every single one of them needs medications.’ I didn’t step back and say to myself, ‘Maybe I’m telling them the wrong way to eat. Maybe it’s not the correct way to eat.’ My focus and mindset was more of the physician mentality where we are trained to do certain things and not think about it.”
“I want your listeners to understand that medical schools, at least in America, do not train how to think. You are trained how to think and what to think and do not really be a free thinker. You go to medical school, you take the classes, you are told this is what we know; this is what we do, this is what you do, etc. So there is really not a lot of free thought involved which is why in America we have obesity, type 2 diabetes, heart diseases and cancers have ravaged the world.”
You may have realized by now that Dr. Carlson is a very entertaining speaker while revealing so much truth within just a few sentences. One of the funniest parts in his book is when he talks about his medical school and that they only had two weeks of nutritional instructions taught by an overweight dietitian. It’s funny to picture that, but, of course, for us the patients it’s really not that funny and the consequences are severe. This is a perfect example of an ignorant medical system and that there is something really wrong with that system. Thank goodness there are such brave physicians like Dr. Carlson who dare to speak the truth.
Because of that situation we have to be aware of that the vast majority of physicians around the world are truly ignorant as to the correct way to eat. And it gets even worse when that ignorance turns into arrogance when you speak to a physician. They don’t even want to hear the truth.
There is a saying, “The one who heals is right.” And, being a real scientist, Dr. Carlson can proof his findings.
“I had people with triglycerides of 700-800, the highest I had was 2400, go to normal without medications following the correct way to eat…eating fat and saturated fat and cholesterol containing fat foods is actually healthy, not harmful.”
Dr. Carlson clearly stated that the low fat/low cholesterol as a way to eat is just plain wrong. When I asked him why, he said, “Let’s look at what’s happening because the scary thing is that this is so simple to understand and we have this printed on every single biochemistry text book you can get your hands on. The reason it’s wrong is because it says: ’Eating fat cholesterol is dangerous’ and they want you to eat whole grains and fruits and they say these things are good for you and everyone thinks that’s correct. Well let’s backup a little and let’s look at what creates the cholesterol molecule and the fat molecule and the fat cholesterol molecule. It starts with the sugar molecule both glucose and fructose. So when you provide yourselves with glucose and fructose they will make cholesterol and fat if they receive over abundant sugar molecules. So the more food you eat that contains carbohydrates, that contain glucose, that contain fructose, the more you are giving those cells the ability to create cholesterol and fats. That is a biochemical fact.”
“Wherever that sugar molecule comes from, the cells are going to create deadly cholesterol and fat making us heavier and create a host of a lot other deadly problems. So I like to tell my patients, and I like them to repeat this little mantra, I say repeat after me ’Carbohydrates are broken down into sugars and sugars create cholesterol and fat.’ And I also say that ‘carbohydrates are carbohydrates are carbohydrates’ meaning, it doesn’t matter if it comes from whole grains or multi grains or seven grains or whole wheat pasta or brown rice. The end result is overabundant sugar molecules and you are going to make cholesterol and fat from that.”
“So the question in why is the ‘My Plate campaign’ incorrect? Because it is based on the incorrect premise that low fat/low cholesterol is the correct way to eat and that we need to eat whole grains and multi grains. All that’s doing is providing the cells of our body with what it needs to make more damaging molecules i.e. cholesterol and fat.”
Wow! The amount of information I received from Dr. Jim literally within minutes was overwhelming. My head was literally humming. On one side I was so happy to finally hear the truth, on the other side I had that nagging feeling that this all is just the beginning. And according to Dr. Jim it is.
For now I want to let that information sit with you and digest that information.
If you want to hear the entire interview, please feel free to go to This Page directly or to listen to my webinar first for more information.
In the meantime…
Happy slimming!
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Is your health and weight loss goal worth five to fifteen minutes of your time every day?
If you want to learn a process that leads you to constant weight loss success by baby stepping, check out my Facebook group.
You can get a feeling for the 4 Pillars of Weight Loss process for free. Simply join my closed Facebook group where you can go through the process by taking tiny daily baby steps completely stress free and still make tremendous progress.
Do you think you have a healthy feeling of self-worth?
Most overweight women I know have rather a lot to complain about themselves, their body and weight. They just never feel ‘good enough’. They criticize their body, even condemn it. On top of that, they think that having a good sense of self-worth is not high on their priority list, or even worse, they completely ignore that part of their being.
Feeling worthy determines how you think and act, which ultimately influences any outcome of your life, be it professionally, in your relationships, your finances, your health, and of course your weight.
Women who don’t have a healthy feeling of their self-worth just can’t keep up with any kind of health and weight loss program. Their deep conviction is that they are not worthy to be healthy, beautiful, slim and attractive. And that is such a crucial point that I just have to talk about this topic, whether you like it or not.
If you don’t have a strong sense of self-worth, you will likely fail with any kind of weight loss method.
As a matter of fact, it would be a real miracle if you could work successfully through any weight loss program without a healthy feeling of self-worth.
Did you ever ask yourself what self-worth really is?
Is your self-worth determined by how much money you have in your bank account or how much you are worth to the market place?
Is it about how you feel about yourself?
Is it about loving yourself unconditionally?
No. Yes. And Yes. But that’s not all.
The true definition of self-worth is rather intrinsic and internal than external.
Your self-worth has nothing to do with your current weight. It has little to do how successful you are in your job or business. Your self-worth is not determined by the number on your bank account or how many things you own. You could be the richest woman in the world and still be unhappy. You can see that very well in really rich women who need to have the most expensive handbag, wear jewelry in the multi-million dollar range around their necks, and get a new plastic surgery once a year.
If you want to understand what real self-worth is not, watch one of the Real Housewives series. That is really disgusting. These women are the best examples of being shallow and lack any sense of real self-worth. Women with a low feeling of self-worth do not take care well of themselves, eat low-quality food, do not exercise, they often have two or three jobs just to make ends meet or to keep up with the Joneses. And you also have the other group of women with little self-worth who are trying to hide the shallowness behind tons of make-up, the most expensive cloths, an expensive car, an ultra-rich husband and a house large enough to host their big egos.
On the other hand you can have a mother of twelve children who deeply cares for them and her neighbors, who lives by high moral standards, who is loving, caring, gentle, friendly and cleans other people’s houses with great love and gusto for little money. That woman has much higher self-worth because she has a lot to give to her family as well as to the community. She has no PHD, but she knows how to love and to serve, and she does that within her personal capabilities and by using her talents.
Real self-worth never has something to do with external factors. It comes from a love to life, from gratitude towards life, from a deep rooted love regardless of their imperfections or shortcomings, and from simply knowing that we are a child of God. No matter what we have to give, giving and serving inevitably brings that feeling of self-worth, no matter how humble that giving and serving is.
Every person has a lot to offer regardless of their education. You can’t compete in terms of self-worth. You can only compete in terms of how much of yourself you are giving to the world. Women with a high sense of self-worth do not base their own value on comparisons. They understand that their value is within themselves naturally and given with birth.
And please, don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about self-delusion, self-centeredness or narcissism. As a matter of fact, people with a healthy feeling of self-worth are by nature humble beings who treat others with the same respect treat themselves. Regardless of their religion, and whether or not they are aware of, deep inside they feel that they are a divine being. They just see everybody as a valuable person, regardless of their upbringings, status, profession or the number on their bank account.
People with a low self-worth break down when they lose the job, go broke, lose friends, lose a spouse, lose their status, grow old or experience any kind of loss. They feel less worthy because they measure their self-worth on external things, situations and on others.
Real self-worth is based on a feeling of being loved by others or a deity as well as by yourself.
On the other hand, a lack of self-worth leads to anxiety, a lack of motivation to take care of themselves, a lack of motivation to accomplish more and become a better version of themselves. A lack of self-worth can even lead to addiction, depression, or suicide. And a lack of self-worth definitely leads to relationship problems. On top of that it makes you vulnerable to being hurt by others.
A lack of self-worth leads to self-sabotage when you’re going on the next diet or weight loss program…because deep within you feel that you’re not worth looking good.
A person with a healthy feeling of being worthy is ready to take on bigger tasks and is willing to solve bigger problems than someone with a love self-worth who don’t even try in fear of failing.
People with a healthy understanding of their self-worth know that they are not perfect, they know their mistakes, their failings, yet they love themselves nonetheless. They understand that failing does not determine their self-worth a bit. They understand that results are mostly outside of our total control, yet they give their best nevertheless because they know that all we can do is giving our best.
Do you begin to understand why losing weight for good with a low feeling of self-worth is close to impossible?
With a low feeling of self-worth you tend to go for the quick-fixes because you don’t trust yourself and your inner strength and power. You follow the beaten path a dozen times even after you realized that diets don’t work…when you follow the masses and fail, then you at least are not alone with the failing. You try again because X said this about a particular diet. You’d rather follow the stream of the millions of other failures than trusting your gut feeling and trying something new.
For example, when people learn about the dangers of microwave ovens they always say, “Somehow I always had the feeling that they’re not good, but everybody else had them and the newspapers keep telling us they were safe. So I thought that the government would have told us that they are a health threat.” So instead of trusting their gut feeling, they followed the masses and put their families and themselves in serious health danger.
Now let’s talk about how to improve self-worth.
First of all, being a spiritual person who understands that we are all divine beings by nature and thus perfect in God’s eyes find it significantly easier to gain a healthy feeling of self-worth without becoming arrogant.
But just knowing that God loves you is not enough. You have to learn to unconditionally love yourself regardless of your current weight or shape. If you can’t love yourself now, start with being grateful about your body.
Then keeping your word towards yourself is the next important step. Whenever you decide to do something, do it no matter the weather or the circumstances. Just keep your word, even you gave it to yourself and although no one else knows. YOU know. Not keeping your word towards yourself lessens your integrity and thus your self-worth.
If you have experienced lack of love, conditional love, setbacks, and restrictions earlier in your life, then it’s certainly easier for you to stay in that state of low self-worth. But that’s not the solution. You don’t need others to tell you what a great person you are. You don’t need others to love you so that you can love yourself. Simply start by treating yourself well. Take care of your health. Eat healthy. Exercise. Do something good for yourself. Pamper yourself from time to time. Pat your shoulders each time you have accomplished something or made another person happy. Be generous with your smiles when meeting others. Be of service. Make this world a better place no matter how humble the beginnings.
Stay away from toxic people. Become your own best friend. Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend.
Cut off the negative self-talk and criticizing. Stop weighing. Stop beating yourself up! Talk nicely and gently about yourself. Always choose the best when it comes to your health and weight loss.
Change the voice in your head and begin to accept, respect and even love yourself for who you are right now and what you are capable of. And then watch how you will evolve miraculously.
If you had a real tough upbringing where you were beaten up or even punched, you might want to consider signing up for therapy. You can choose any local therapist or hire me if you want to go beyond therapy and go through a real life transformation.
Love yourself. You’re worth it! And start losing weight…
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Is your health and weight loss goal worth five to fifteen minutes of your time every day?
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In 2016, a physician from the UK, Dr. Rangan Chatterjee gave a TEDx talk about disease, and the title of his talk was How To Make Disease Disappear, chronic diseases. He started overthinking his medical knowledge when his 5-year old son nearly died. So he went back to study human health further and learned in the process that he was much more efficient as a doctor when he eliminated the root causes instead of treating the symptoms.
While I was watching the video I always thought, “This is exactly the same like with weight loss.” Being overweight is most of the time a chronic disease as well.
Then he said something that pieked my interest even more – something I have already known for years, but now I got proof for that by a physician. He said that the medical society is quite good at treating acute diseases, but that the problem is that they try to treat chronic diseases the exact same way like they treat acute diseases. He continued saying that chronic and acute diseases are two completely different things and require completely different strategies.
While I was watching I was jumping up and down on my seat and constantly exlaiming, “Yes! Yes! Exactly! Finally a doctor is talking about that important topic! Yeah!”
He then went on talking about the causes, and named things like:
eating too much junk food
chronic stress
sleep deprivation (just one night of sleep deprivation can lead to the same insuline resistance like six months of eating junk food)
chronic inflammation
physical inactivity
a lack of exposure to the sun (lack of Vitamin D)
discruptions in the gut microbiom
Does that sound familiar to you? If you’re on my list for longer, it certainly should.
“The problem is that there are many different causes of insuline resistence (for example). And if we don’t address the causes for that particular patient, we will never get rid of the disease.” –Dr. Rangan Chatterjee
Now when he said, “Diseases are the symptom…” he really began to speak my ‘language’. Instead of asking, “What is the cure to this disease?” he began to ask, “What is the root cause? What triggered the disease?” Like I say it regarding weight issues, Dr. Chatterjee also says that when many people have the same disease, they can all still have different root causes which lead to the very same disease. This is exactly the same like with excess weight. Each overweight person has her own individual set of root causes.
The root causes he lists for ANY diseases are:
Stress
Sleep
Physical Activity
Gut Health
Infections
Environmental Toxins
Sunlight
Diet
Every single chronic disease he was talking about could be associated with one or several of these root causes. And he clearly said that once ALL of the INDIVIDUAL root causes where eliminated, the body could begin to heal and the disease will be reversed.
All these causes plus many more I have been sharing with you for years. But did you take this seriously? Did you believe me? Did you take care of your root causes? If not, it is my hope that you begin to listen now and believe what comes from a doctor’s mouth.
“We need to update our thinking. Our genetics are NOT our destiny! Our genes load the gun but it’s our environment that pulls the trigger.” –Dr. Rangan Chatterjee
Although this talk only covers physical causes like sleep, exercise, gut health, etc., it still applies to maintainable weight loss as well. Because extra weight – especially obesity – is nothing else but a chronic disease.
Everything – literally everything – Dr. Chatterjee said in his talk completely and totally applies to our topic weight loss as well. EVERYTHING, with no exception.
Just think about, if you only could start changing these eight physical root causes Dr. Rangan mentioned, how far would you get? Changing the physical root causes is what leads to fast weight loss. Then, once you will be ready to take it a step further, you and I can begin to talk about the impact your emotions, your mindset, your subconscious mind – your psychology – has on your weight and how you can reverse that part of the issue.
Those of you who know me longer and better will not be surprised when I say that I take this further….much further. I firmly believe that we humans are body, mind, and spirit and that we can’t get cut in pieces or slices. We are whole beings and need to be treated as such, on the body, mind and spirit levels. Then you will begin to make your weight loss MAINTAINABLE!
“We need personalized medizine. We need precision medicine. If you actually take a step back, this is preventative medicine in its purest form.” –Dr. Rangan Chatterjee
Likewise we also need a personalized weight loss strategy. Each of us has her individual bunch of possible root causes that need to be addressed to lose weight. That’s why the diet approach is so ridiculous. Although exercise is very important for good health as well as for a nicely toned body, it still should never be the only tactic, especially for women.
“We have to stop applying 20th Century thinking to 21st Century problems. We need to take back control, empower ourselves and re-educate ourselves away from our fear of disease and right back down the curve to optimal health.” –Dr. Rangan Chatterjee
For thousands of years people got only fat through crapulousness. Therefore cutting down on the amount was the only way of losing weight back then. But today we live in a complex world with complex problems. We have hormonal problems, we have a toxic overload, we have food intolerances, we live in an overradiated world where our sleep is constantly disturbed. No longer is diet the only cause of weight gain, actually, with so much healthy food we have today it hardly ever is. And therefore it seldom is the solution either. It can sometimes be part of an overall weight loss strategy, but even then you would look behind the eating habit and ask “Why?” Very often overeating has deeper causes, some are of physical nature (i.e. a parasite overgrowth) and other causes are psychological.
Complex problems call for complex solutions. So let’s start right away by eliminating one cause after the other, like pealing an onion.
Now allow me to change one of Dr. Chatterjee’s statements and adjust it to the topic weight loss:
If we do that (take back control, empower ourselves and re-educate ourselves away from fear to optimal health) – you and I together – we can not only change our weight and health, the weight and health of our families, next the weight and health of our communities, and eventually the weight and health of the entire world.
Since a few years we are occasionally being told that there are some bad habits that are as bad or even worse for our health as smoking.
For decades I thought that smoking is the unhealthiest habit of all, but apparently there are other habits that are as unhealthy as cigarettes. Scientists and researchers say that some habits expose us to the same toxins we get from cigarettes. Other habits can increase the cancer rates as much as smoking does. And worst of all, the habits we are talking about today also make you fat.
The good news is that fixing those habits is easier than quit smoking.
According to scientists, the worst of all bad habits – besides smoking – is a sedentary lifestyle. Frankly, I have no doubt that sitting all day is very unhealthy. You don’t have to be a physician to understand what sitting all day can do to our body. But what are the alternatives when you have an office job? There are a few ways you can do about that:
Use the breaks to for a short walk.
Use a standing workstation in your office.
When commuting to work, park your car further from the door so that you’re forced to walk a few steps.
Instead of wasting your time in front of the TV, go for a walk in the evening. You will see that this will improve the quality of your sleep.
If you want to do something very good for your body, go to the gym twice a week. 30 minutes each time is already enough.
For the sake of weight loss, going on a daily 45 to 60-minute walk and going to the gym twice per week is enough.
Maybe your issue is not the time but your own weight. If you are too heavy to move, then there is a beautiful thing called water. The heavier you are, the better you will be carried by water and you can move in ways you could never move outside of the water. Swimming therefore is not also healthy, it is also easy on your joints.
Although eating a good amount of protein is important for weight loss, many people eat far too much meat. The biggest problem is the growth hormone IGF-1 farmers use to raise their animals for bigger profits. That substance can promote the growth of cancer cells.
Ways to do it better:
You don’t need meat for each meal. Reduce it to two to five meals per week.
Only buy meat from organically grown free-range and grass-fed animals from licensed organic farms. You will see that their meat tastes much better. Although it is more expensive than the meat you buy in your supermarket, by reducing the amount you can reduce the costs and make the higher quality more affordable. Besides, since organic meat contains no or less toxins, you save money in health costs in the long term.
Instead of meat you can eat several fish meals per week. In order to be on the safer side regarding toxins, I recommend to go with freshwater fish. Try to eat as much fish you eat meat. That way you get the best nutrients from both.
Any kind of beans have very high protein levels and beans are ultra cheap. By adding two or three bean meals per week you can better afford the more expensive organic meat and fish. There is a large variety of legumes: red beans, Borlotti beans, white beans, green beans, lentils in all colors, peas, etc. and they are all high in nutritional value.
Another very good source of proteins is eggs. Here too I highly recommend to only buying eggs from organically raised free-range hens. After a few times of eating organic eggs you will not want any others.
Dairy products is another way of adding proteins. Cheese is great for that purpose. If you are intolerant to dairy products, you can go with Buffalo milk products, they are better to tolerate.
I personally loved cooking on my gas stove when I was living in Canada. Many households in North America are equipped with gas stoves. But did you know that every time you cook a meal, you’re getting a dose of carbon monoxide, nitrogen dioxide, and formaldehyde? But not only that. According to scientists, these three contaminants released from gas stoves exceed public health guidelines.
Here is how to avoid that:
While cooking or baking, open your window and/or use your vent hood. This can reduce pollutant levels dramatically. If you only have a vent hood and no window in your kitchen, use the back burners to make sure your vent hood captures the most of the pollutants.
Unfortunately it gets worse regarding cooking. The by far worst and most health hazard habit is using microwave ovens. And it doesn’t matter whether you just defrost some frozen food or heat the food in the oven. First of all, although the manufacturers will tell you, that their ovens don’t leak, they do. Secondly, as soon as you switch on the oven, the electromagnetic radiation goes up dramatically – in other words, they radiate a lot. Thirdly, microwaves alter the DNA in your food and thus your body does not recognize food as such but as toxins. Within only three minutes of eating something microwaved, your blood tests positive for cancer. I know scientists who call microwave ovens “The kiss of death”.
Alternatives:
Use your electric kitchen range to cook and bake.
Heat pre-cooked food in your fry pan with a little bit of healthy oil.
Invest in a steamer oven. They are as convenient as microwave ovens with the difference that the heated food tastes much better than the microwaved food and secondly, they don’t have any of the disadvantages microwave ovens have.
Using bad oils to cook is another health threat. For several years now health experts are warning from using the wrong oils. Most of the time these are cheap ones. When heated, they release compounds that are found in cigarette smoke, such as aldehydes and polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons.
Healthy oils:
For heating food I use organic, native coconut oil/fat.
For my self-made salad dressings and to sprinkle over the food to give cold and cooked meals a Mediterranian taste I use organic virgin olive oil.
Since I love the smell and taste of butter, for baking and adding to vegetables and smashed potatoes, for example, I use organic butter (from organically fed and grass-fed animals). Do not use the other king of butter.
Many Americans are insanely sleep deprived. Sleep deprivation leads to symptoms like high blood pressure, heart attacks, strokes, and obesity. Studies show that poor sleep or sleep deprivation can speed up the growth of tumors.
Here is what you can do:
Learn a methodical relaxation method like Autogenic Relaxation.
If you feel tired in the morning, you are not getting enough sleep or good quality sleep. Listen to your body and the alarm signals it’s giving you. Take this seriously.
Ask your doctor to send you to a sleep laboratory to get tested for sleep apnea.
During the day, drink enough water. During the night the body intensively detoxifies and cleanses, and that requires enough water. Not drinking enough water can diminish the quality of your sleep or you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t sleep anymore. .
Don’t watch dark or action movies before going to bed because this causes a lot of stress in your nervous system.
Instead of watching TV, you can go for a short walk around the block or get a dose of fresh air in your back yard.
Of course, I would never recommend to rather smoke than falling for the mentioned habits. Smoking is still a no go regarding health in general and weight loss in particular. I do understand that there are health experts and doctors who are telling you that just smoking a few cigarettes per day is not dangerous. I vehemently disagree. Especially with an addiction like smoking you can’t just be a little addicted. Either you are addicted or you’re not. And it is my deep hope that none of my followers, readers and clients is a smoker. Smoking and vaping is one of the worst addictions and far more dangerous than we are being told.
Be it smoking or one of these 6 habits, they all contribute to weight gain…some more and some less. Eliminating these habits ASAP will certainly make it easier to lose weight once you will have chosen a sensible weight loss strategy.